Im an Idiot
I’m a massive idiot. This statement is proved by today. Today is not going to be a good day. In fact, far from it. It will probably be quite shit. Its all my fault though so I will have to lie face down in the shit and embrace it. The reason for it excrement like […]
Read moreMo’ Problems
How good was Mo on Channel 4 last night? If you didn’t watch it, shame on you for missing one of the few good things on telly. Good telly is so rare nowadays that to miss such nuggets should be made some sort of crime. What were you watching instead? Some washed up coke addict […]
Read moreShamleys
Turns out, its pretty difficult to buy ninja weapons at toy shops anymore. Its political correctness gone mad, nanny state gone bananas and anti-ninja laws gone bonkersarooni. I remember back in the day when you used to be able to pop down to your local Toys R Us and buy a playschool bath toy, followed […]
Read moreBusyness Time
Tonight I have, through mishap and stupidity, managed to not get three possible different gigs. Some due to cancellation, others due to me not thinking that the others may be cancelled. I’m a complete fool. Aha but who is the fool? The fool with the cancelled gigs or the fool who is really looking forward […]
Read moreFire Escape? Not Likely
More bullet points today. Sorry blog fans. I’ve been a busy bee. My entire week has been spent gathering pollen for the queen and it takes up quite a bit of time. Bees are pretty bloody busy. I often wonder if the reason why they’re dying out is due to exhaustion. If only they had […]
Read moreiPad Slag Acting
Some things: iPad So the iPad is now here. What does this mean? I’m not really sure. I’ve got a computer, I have an iPhone and an iPod. More importantly I have actual books and I can read newspapers. Why would I need an iPad? I really don’t know, but goddamn I really want one. […]
Read moreMissing Vigilantes
When I don’t really have time to write a blog it tends to be expressed in a few ways: a) I’ll freely express in the blog that I don’t have time to write a blog, b) I will cop out and only write a paragraph or two, c) I will cop out and just write […]
Read moreMy News Review
Well that’s it then. The recession is officially over according to the news. Well done everyone. All you who’ve been made unemployed, you can go back to work now. Yep that’s fine. All of you who have had entire businesses collapse, yeah just start then again, it’ll be dandy. I’ll stop being poor before it […]
Read moreRude Names and Cartoons
Late and rather brief blog today as I have spent most of the morning sitting in a casting with Tom Craine, surrounded by other short hairy men like myself and other tall thin men like Craine. Sometimes I view these days as opportunities to see ourselves in a parallel universe. Perhaps 6 billion and a […]
Read moreThe Sad Plight of the Heckler
Today’s blog isn’t funny. Sadly though, it is true. Maybe play some violin music in the background, imagine everything in black and white and then have a little cry. Or alternatively if you’re the sort of person who mocks the weak, then why not play circus music and read this whilst doing jazz hands and […]
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