Its day two in the Douieb flat and Tiernan still has no beard. See what I did there? I started like it was Big Brother because thats what was on yesterday. Im well clever me. Of course if you didn’t read that in a Geordie accent it won’t have worked. But that will be your […]
RIP my beard. I’ve just shaved it off and now I feel all sad. I knew there was a reason I grew a beard and its because I have a stupid chin. Its a bit lopsided and looks like I am being constantly punched in the right side of my face. Maybe I need to […]
This blog is late today. I wanted to do it ages ago but I have returned from spending TWO AND A HALF SHITTING HOURS waiting at The Whittington Hospital for a TWO SHITTING MINUTE APPOINTMENT. Now, it would be wrong for me to say hospitals are bad places. Without them, many people would die, or […]
Fat Tuesday Edinburgh previews start tonight. This is good for several reasons. The biggest and most selfish reason however, is that if there are two acts doing an hour each, I don’t really have to do anything and can just sit and watch them. Brilliant. Its like a lazy promoter/booker/compere’s job. I don’t think I […]
Not a lot of time today for blogging. Many things must be done, including, if I have time, storming Barclays Bank and, using their own free biros, stabbing every member of staff in the eyes. I have just had conversation with ‘Raj’ who managed to not answer any of my questions, refuse to help me […]
I have a touch of sunburn on my shoulders. Do you know how long I spent in the sun yesterday? About 15 minutes. That’s all. Barely enough to burn an ant with a magnifying glass and yet my pathetic skin tone wilted under the solar force. I would have thought it would be pleased with […]
Me and Layla went for a walk in Finsbury Park yesterday afternoon. People are often saying things are as easy as ‘a walk in the park’ and they are right, it was pretty easy. There were no giant obstacles, flames or anti-walk paint. Nothing that would create any sort of difficulty whatsoever. I an imagine […]
I have just been asked if I will shave my beard off for an audition I have next week. This is a terrifying thought. I have only been beardless once in the last 8 years, which was also for a TV venture. It was a hidden camera shoot for a Graham Norton show that never […]
I got drunk yesterday and for free. I win. Its nice when you win things. Especially when its a game that you don’t tell anyone else the rules to it. Last night the game was ‘Lets all go and get drunk on free booze and eat canapes that are also free while a big purple […]
I still haven’t entered all the numbers in my phone yet, and as luck would have it, all the texts I’ve received over the last day or so haven’t been from any of the numbers I have entered. This creates an unintentional and semi-exciting game called, ‘Guess The Texter’. By merely reading the text I […]