Fire Escape? Not Likely
More bullet points today. Sorry blog fans. I’ve been a busy bee. My entire week has been spent gathering pollen for the queen and it takes up quite a bit of time. Bees are pretty bloody busy. I often wonder if the reason why they’re dying out is due to exhaustion. If only they had […]
iPad Slag Acting
Some things: iPad So the iPad is now here. What does this mean? I’m not really sure. I’ve got a computer, I have an iPhone and an iPod. More importantly I have actual books and I can read newspapers. Why would I need an iPad? I really don’t know, but goddamn I really want one. […]
Missing Vigilantes
When I don’t really have time to write a blog it tends to be expressed in a few ways: a) I’ll freely express in the blog that I don’t have time to write a blog, b) I will cop out and only write a paragraph or two, c) I will cop out and just write […]
My News Review
Well that’s it then. The recession is officially over according to the news. Well done everyone. All you who’ve been made unemployed, you can go back to work now. Yep that’s fine. All of you who have had entire businesses collapse, yeah just start then again, it’ll be dandy. I’ll stop being poor before it […]
Rude Names and Cartoons
Late and rather brief blog today as I have spent most of the morning sitting in a casting with Tom Craine, surrounded by other short hairy men like myself and other tall thin men like Craine. Sometimes I view these days as opportunities to see ourselves in a parallel universe. Perhaps 6 billion and a […]
The Sad Plight of the Heckler
Today’s blog isn’t funny. Sadly though, it is true. Maybe play some violin music in the background, imagine everything in black and white and then have a little cry. Or alternatively if you’re the sort of person who mocks the weak, then why not play circus music and read this whilst doing jazz hands and […]
Still My Bloody Space
I’m currently racking my brains for ways in which potato waffles are indeed ‘waffley versatile’. So far I reckon that as well as a food substance, they could be used as a tony portcullis for a breakfast based castle, as a fencing mask for someone with a tiny face, or maybe even as tiny windows […]
Willing Agoraphobe
Its a Friday, its raining, there is very little want to do anything at all. Unfortunately today is the day I start regularly gigging again. Its odd. I should be excited and looking forward to it all but I think I have managed to become some sort of wiling agrophobic. Here are the facts: My […]
You’re Gonna Have To Trust Me
When driving home on the ever boring M4 last night, Tom Craine and myself were discussing the only aspect of missing a 9-5. It sounds bizarre that there should be any part of the general drudgery of day to day boredom, waking up early and being shouted at by management who spend most of their […]
Morning Has Broken
I understand the phrase ‘morning has broken’ now. We used to sing a hymn about it at school and its finally dawned (pun intended) as to what it means. The morning is cold, dark and full of grumpy people. I can only assume its broken and that back when it worked it was much nicer. […]