Not Fine Speeding
A few things for today: Not Fine Speeding I just filled out a form admitting to a speeding fine, despite the fact that Layla had already filled one out that I had signed too saying I was guilty of wanting to go somewhere quicker than I should. They obviously got that reply and deemed it […]
Read moreBelfast Exit
I’m on a proper computer – wahey! – in Belfast’s George Best airport, where ironically I’m sure the man that checked my passport was drunk. Maybe that’s part of the criteria? He looked at me, and looked back at the passport about 4 times before burping under his breath, looking confused and waving me on. […]
Read moreSkellingtons
How exciting that Britain won the gold at the skeleton event last night in the Winter Olympics. I honestly thought I wouldn’t have cared but last night as I tuned in from my hotel room I became hooked on watching these women throw themselves headfirst down an icy chasm of death. I can’t even begin […]
Read moreChoose Your Own Blog
It’s times like this I think I only write this blog daily to hinder my life possibly becoming easier. Today, among 6 billion other shit things, I’ve spent two hours sitting in a foyer, spent thirty minutes in an airport security queue behind a moron who didn’t realise creams were a liquid’ and I’ve tried […]
Read morePump Action
I’ve been jogging today. I know. I know. What a dick. It wasn’t even my idea but I said I would do it as Layla finally got her new bike the other day and she wanted me to come with her to the park to give it a whirl. Of course you can’t just walk […]
Read moreRATM At ‘Em
I’ve been up since 9am trying to get free tickets for the Rage Against the Machine gig in June. I expected to be stuck in an online queuing system for several hours constantly, and perhaps ironically, getting more and more angry with my machine until smashing my laptop with various bits of hard things out […]
Read moreNot Snowboard
I generally, as rule, hate sports. I don’t really like any of them on account of the fact they take up time watching them that I could be using doing other useful stuff. What other useful stuff you ask? Well, er, all sorts. From walking around kicking my feet to sitting around kicking my feet. […]
Read more3 Daaaammmnnnn Biatch
I quite liked Avatar. I wasn’t entirely sure I would but it contained all the things I like in films: guns, robots, dragons, arrows, fighting, boobs and blue people. Essentially with this criteria there are very few films that have really fulfilled ‘ideal film’ status for me since the Smurf Special in 1987 and that […]
Read moreValentiernan’s Day
So its the day of Rome Ants, the biggest ants in Italy and to celebrate just how big Rome Ants are, everyone gets sexy. That’s right, its Valentine’s Day or as I aim to rename it, Valentiernan’s Day. What that will entail is everyone giving me endless love all day on the 14th until we […]
Read moreA Couple O’ Things
Gotta do shout words at brats again today, ahem, sorry, I mean do Comedy 4 Kids, so today’s blog is gonna be pretty tiny. Fire those bullet points cos here we go: EDINBURGH SHOW – I’ve finally started writing this and feel all a bit excited about it. Everytime I get too excited I remember […]
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