In two hours I’m going to have a roast. Thing is, I’m hungry right now. This is that terrible conundrum whereby if I eat now, then I won’t be hungry enough to eat all of the roast, and if I don’t eat now I’m going to complain about being hungry endlessly for the next two […]
There’s an odd thing your brain does when it knows you have to help out at a Comedy 4 Kids workshop. It starts by thinking of all the worst jokes you could possibly tell them, followed by which are your favourite highlights of say Jim Jeffries material. Then after you realise that is just too […]
Hey you. Do you like getting angry? Or are you a more patient human being than I could ever hope to be? Well lets put that patience to the absolute limits or make you get so angry you punch your own face, with my newly discovered ‘most angry making thing ever.’ What I’m about to […]
When I arrived at the TV studio last night, they were in the middle of a rehearsal run through. Mark, Tim and Alex were all onstage but instead of the celebrity guests, there were two men, each of whom had a sticker on their chest stating which guest they were pretending to be. As questions […]
Some of you might have noted that the title of today’s blog is also the title of Richard Herring’s daily blog. This blog has nothing to do with Richard Herring or anything his face has done, its just that the title matches perfectly to what I’m doing today. That and hopefully loads of his blog […]
Adverts are generally full of lies. I know this. Its something I’ve been aware of for many years ever since I could read the tiny print on the bottom of the screen or the poster that said things like ‘please note this toy does not actually shoot web’ or ‘this pack of chewits is not […]
I have a lot of things to blog about today but my brain is 100% not complying with what I want it to do. As you read, this is the 4th incarnation of today’s blogging attempt and as yet I’m already unhappy with it but laziness is insisting I keep typing this time otherwise it […]
Yesterday a 6 year old child told me that there was no way he could be scared of vampires as they didn’t exist. He then went on to explain to me and the entire audience at Comedy Club 4 Kids in Brighton, that monsters do not exist and that I am a ‘stupid’. Its very […]
It appears no matter what type of transport I invest in to get me to my gigs, they all have made a special effort these last few days to epicly fail me. Today, I need to get to Brighton. I’ve made the decision to get the train because trying to park in Brighton on a […]
The Highways AgencyMiddle of the M1 (or if closed, by Junction 15 on the M4) October 2nd 2009 Dear Sir/Madam/Time Stealers/Bastards REF: Last Night’s Shitty Journey Home I am writing about a matter of a certain high degree of importance. I know everyone at the Highways Agency is busy working out exactly where to put […]