The other day L spotted a mouse in our kitchen. It scuttled across the kitchen top then disappeared, and hasn’t been seen since. However, in the past four days we’ve started to receive post for ‘Ms N Clerks’, someone who, to our or our landlords’ knowledge, has never lived here. Could it be the mouse has redirected their mail and officially moved in? Do mice have surnames or is it a series of mouse clerks for just one higher, more powerful mouse? Or even a cat or dog who’s learned to abuse animal food chain hierarchy to form admin staff from smaller species? Or did Ms N Clerks get turned into a mouse through a terrible curse? Or is it just postal error that seems increasingly more common since the privatisation of Royal Mail and the cutbacks within the workforce meanwhile we should probably just vacuum clean our kitchen more often? So, so many questions.
That’s November for you though. So many constant questions at this time of year, most of which are me just saying ‘when will human beings evolve so that we can feasibly hibernate till April?’ Or perhaps it’s ‘devolve’? I read a Yahoo answer – which almost certainly means it isn’t correct – that said as humans learned to get shelter, fire and clothes we no longer needed to hibernate. This must be wrong as having all those things just makes hibernation even cosier and therefore necessary. Yet another notch in the series of markings on the chart of ‘Why humans are increasingly wrong about everything.’ No I haven’t made that chart. I’d probably do it badly.
So, some stuff is happening this month. I’ve just got back from a lovely festival in Finland called Arctic Laughs. It’s a bit of a stereotype that Finnish audiences don’t laugh, or smile, or emote at all unless they’re drunk in which case they’re the opposite. But I’ve often found that not to be true, as long as you aim the material at them and make it relevant. This time round a lot of my, and other acts, material was on the anti-immigrant feelings in their otherwise usually very tolerant society. This general animosity towards refugees seems to be so dangerously spreading worldwide, which I find constantly upsetting. Seems baffling that we can be in this day and age and still think other people aren’t people. Still, the audiences mostly laughed and agreed with my comments, which was nice, and a change from last time I was there when I joked that they hunted Moomins and they all got upset with me.
Anyway, this month’s things:
THE WORLD’S FULL OF IDIOTS, LET’S LIVE IN SPACE – NOTTINGHAM
Not many dates of this show left. The last one this side of Christmas is at the Nottingham Comedy Festival on November 13th. It’s at the Poppy and Pint, which by name sounds either like a nice place or an opium booze den of iniquity. Tickets are £10 (which is a bit steep) but you can get a £25 ticket to see three shows that night or something. Anyway, would be lovely to see you there. The link is:
I’m also doing an hour of my stand-up for kids the next day at 2pm at Navigation (a place that by name should be easy to find) if you fancy more silly jokes about werewolves and computer games.
You remember way back when in the golden olden days where I released a video of my last stand-up show online? If you don’t, it’s still here, and although a tad out dated now, please buy it: http://tiernandouiebthisisntforyou.vhx.tv
Anyway, thanks to champion filmmaker person Ben Hilton, we will be filming ‘The World’s Full Of Idiots, Let’s Live In Space’ at the Phoenix near Oxford Circus, on January 17th at 7pm. I know no one ever has any money at that time of year, so it’s free. The venue can only fit so many people (much like most venues, what with the walls and things) so grab your tickets ASAP** if you can. It’d be great to have a full crowd for the next recording.
Assuming it all goes ok and no one ruins it by going on fire or bringing an angry wolf with them***, it should get released later in the year. More news on that in the future.
PARTLY POLITICAL BROADCAST
Remember even further back when waaaay back when the days weren’t even golden because they didn’t have Technicolor then, and I made a series of videos called the Partly Political Broadcast and put them on YouTube? No? Well series 1 is HERE, and series 2 is HERE. Though they are really out of date now, what with being topical shows and all. Lots of people seemed to like the first series, then they all asked us to a do a second series, and no one watched it. Similarly, a few TV people asked us to submit it to them, so we did, and they rejected it, because the TV industry likes to work in a constant state of Catch 22. They get excited by something someone’s doing then want to make it but only if they make something completely different that isn’t like it at all. Funz.
Anyway, so long story slightly less long, I’ve been missing doing them and a few people (three so far) have asked that we make more, what with all the nonsense in UK politics right now. Myself and Ben (of the Hilton variety again) don’t have time (or money) to film more sadly. However I’ve been having some thoughts on it all, and hopefully, all things crossed, there’ll be some form of PPB returning to you in the future. Possibly in an audio format.**** So keep your eyes peeled, even though it’ll mainly require your ears this time round.
ARTS EMERGENCY FUNDRAISER
On the 10th November I’m hosting a fundraiser for the brilliant Arts Emergency charity, because I am basically an angel in human form. It’s got a damn good line-up of funny people on. It’s in Camden at the Black Heart and will be more fun than not going to it.
I’m all over the place this month – mentally and physically – including Wales, Brighton, Nottingham, Cheltenham and my flat in-between so I can water the plants that keep dying. All info, except plant keeping advice, at https://www.tiernandouieb.co.uk/gigs.php
OTHER OTHER STUFF
- I think this is an interview with a Finnish paper that I did, but I don’t really know because I can’t read it. It’s in Finnish. http://www.hs.fi/kulttuuri/a1446181609772
- I’m very late to this but the Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project has been making me laugh a lot while stuck on delayed flights. Some of the most fun improvised character comedy I’ve heard in a while: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/andy-daly-podcast-pilot-project/id774375605?mt=2
- BBC Newsreader Joanna Gosling is so damn cool. https://twitter.com/TiernanDouieb/status/658963241842921472
- I was a guest on Tom Craine’s Radio X podcast (that’s what it’s now called now they’ve got all laddy and that) with Nat Luurtsema, telling tales of performances going wrong. https://goo.gl/qcXTya
- I also waffled on about nonsense on Chris Purchase’s podcast ‘Let’s Save The World’ which was a lot of silly fun. https://t.co/wpKl8iDu4J
- Eat that TwinStrangers.com https://twitter.com/TiernanDouieb/status/660811715223924736
- This has lots of great acts on and is an absolute bargain, ticket wise. http://www.thebloomsbury.com/event/run/15045
- @ben_cameron on Twitter makes lovely things. https://t.co/iHmMjPzvre
That’s all for this month. I mean it isn’t. Undoubtedly other stuff will happen for all of us otherwise it’ll be immensely dull. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. Enjoy your Guy Fawkes and Lady Knives nights and if you go to Finland leave the Moomin questions alone. Trust me.
I’m off to investigate if mice can open envelopes.
* I won’t use this greeting again. Sorry. Far too mid-West American isn’t it? Let’s be honest, no one in the US reads this. No one outside of the M25 reads this do they? Or anyone inside of it. Or anyone. Sigh.
** According to MS Word you can’t type ‘ASAP’ with small letters. Which is a shame because I don’t want it to be didactic. People rush far too much these days. I was thinking more ‘as soon as possible after a cup of tea and once you’ve got other important stuff done’ but Word won’t let me type ASAPAACOTAOYGOISD without capitals either.
**** Like vinyl or one of those tin cans with a string that I can shout down the other end of.