Fringe Day 11: THE WALL

I thought it would happen earlier but no, it hit yesterday, on all days, Friday the frikkin’ 13th. I have officially hit the wall. I honestly couldn’t care less today if the fringe blew up or fell over or set fire to its face. I’ve had enough already. This fringe is too long. Its so long its essentially not a fringe anymore, just er, a long hairdo. Hmm. Should edit that out. EXCEPT I WON’T BECAUSE I DON’T CARE. A combination of events yesterday have turned Monday’s cracks into a full on mind spazz of delirium. I mean why is this a whole month? It shouldn’t be. A week would be fine. In a week you’d have a nice time, enjoy doing your show and generally have fun. A month though? That’s a whole advent calender of misery. After a month of working every single day everything just becomes proper cabin fever. You know, when people are allergic to tiny wooden shacks. Saying the same words every night, mingling with the same people, drinking and eating in the same places. I’m fully expecting, any moment now, a groundhog to appear and Bill Murray to pull a funny face. I’m sitting with my hoodie’s hood up, in my PJs, fully intending to sit out today in my bed. Take that the fringe.

Some of yesterday was uber fun including catching up with the ever awesome Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly chaps for some boozing, the excellent Improvaganza at the C Venues and someone telling me after my show ‘interesting, very good vocabulary, well done’ which is the weirdest compliment I’ve ever had. There was also some awesome tapas ventures and a seeing the very very excellent ‘Laura’ at the Hive (go see it, its a brilliant play and its FREE!). But this was side swiped by the first review of my show to appear. Don’t get me wrong. Its a great review. Brilliant infact and I couldn’t be happier. Except that its only 3 stars which means nothing can be added to posters or flyers. Here’s the review:


I promised myself I wouldn’t look for reviews but I got bored. Boredom is dangerous and has, in the past, been responsible for me burning myself with a lighter and making a small dinosaur out of tinfoil. So all in all, reading a review is not too bad a result. As I said though, I should be pretty pleased with that review if it wasn’t for the bloody stars. Stars eh? Every year, the stars cause issue. Who needs stars eh? Except maybe the universe. But that’s allowed. And Stars In Their Eyes. Without stars that program might be a tad redundant. But other than those, and Milky Way Stars, they are bloody pointless. I’m going to find a star and punch it. Sigh.

That review combined with other stuff and fringe mental means that surely after today, things can only get a tad better. The wall is important, because much like a marathon, after you pass it, you can carry on forever. Although forever would be far far too long and sadly unlike a marathon, at the end of the fringe, no one wraps you in a warm silver blanket and hugs you a bit. Or gives you free lucozade. Actually, as a diabetic, the lucozade is not helpful. Just the blanket please.

I’m off to walk round Edinburgh kicking things. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. Two more weeks to go. It’s fully possible by next week I’ll be sectioned…….