Concoctions and Consequences

Once again, much like the renegade master, I have somehow not left myself enough time to blog. Actually its not at all like the renegade master. He generally leaves enough time for most things, particularly giving power to the people. I often wonder if he works for N Power or something. I say I don’t know how I’ve ended up with no time for blog but its primarily because after my preview last night, drinks ensured with lovely people and I ended up at Tom Craine and Nat Luurtsema’s house drinking the very wrong concoction of rum and bitter lemon till 3am. Nat swears that it is a 1920’s anesthetic and I can’t say its my favourite drink in the world, but when its all that’s available to you, it its more than fine. I worry when I say things like that. I feel its only one step away of agreeing to have turps and ribena because ‘hey, at least its booze’. When I am found dead in a park with merely a capri-sun and a half drunk lava lamp in my possession you will know it has gone too far. And so, as a consequence of drinking actions, I have had today, a hangover of proportions that were not at all relative to the amount I drank. I’d say not only were they not relative, they weren’t even a family friend. They hadn’t even gone to school with the night’s drinking. They hadn’t even passed it in the street once a few years back and said ‘hello’ thinking it was someone else. I’m tempted to keep this analogy going for sometime but I fear that once again, its only amusing myself. Ultimately, to summarise, its nice and sunny. Now to winterise. Brr its cold. Sorry sorry sorry. Basically I AM HUNGOVER AND HATE THE WORLD. Thanks thanks, I’m here all week.

Not only did hangover mean I got up much later than I wanted to (actually a lie. I wanted to get up even later, but the day’s happenings meant I couldn’t) but I then had to meet with one of the perpetrators of my boozey outcome, Mr Craine, once again to prepare for a meeting about a thing that we completely hadn’t prepared for. There is nothing like a deadline to force good ideas out. Well there is, but it usually involves a hand gun, a very bright light and shouting, but that’s mostly considered illegal. Meeting was survived and went better than thought and finally I am here typing dull sentences of bloggery once again. So here, back once more, which is again similar to that renegade chappy, are everyone’s favourite blog avoidance bullet points:

– Me and Tom did our very early previews last night at the Compass. Only 8 people showed up. 8 lovely people mind, but compared to the 47 that said they’d attend on Facebook, it was a tad short numberwise. I know that Facebook is essentially digital lies, but I expected at least 20. Saying that, as previously mentioned mere sentences ago, those 8 were a very good crowd and if anything made it only more like a proper Edinburgh show at the festival. Only all 8 wanted to be there, as opposed to the few festival goers you get who just want to avoid the rain. It all went well. Tom’s preview was great and will be a top show, and mine somehow lasted a full hour and ten minutes. Admittedly, as put by Mr Paul Byrne (who be directing tings), large chunks of that can just go, but its nice to know I need to lose stuff rather than gain it. Although I could gain gags. That might help.

– RIP Guru. Arguably one of the greatest rappers of all time, and as far as I’m concerned, part of one of the greatest rap groups ever, Gang Starr. Even if you are not a rap fan, I urge you to check out pretty much anything they ever did (except maybe The Ownerz album which was a tad pants) because its all amazing. I wanted to try and make this a bit witty, but to be honest, I’m just a bit sad he’s died. Very young too, at 43, because of cancer. Today shall be spent playing the Full Clip: Decade of Gang Starr album loudly to the extent that next door get annoyed.

– I seem to keep gaining Twitter followers from the Observer article on Sunday. I really can’t complain, but I feel slightly under pressure to only tweet comedy gold. As is my nature, I mostly haven’t, and some have already left. I may have to twead carefully for a while until I get so many followers that eventually I can just be hugely dull and tweet what I’m having for breakfast much like most of the celebrities. If it does get to that point though, I promise I will only ever eat exciting breakfasts to keep you all happy. Like eggs Benedict. But made by Pope Benedict. Actually, on seconds thoughts, I really would want anything made by him. I’d worry it had been tampered with by several priests and he’d serve them up all damaged with little apology. Sorry. I really shouldn’t be typing a blog today.

– Fat Tuesday tonight, and still tickets left despite the fact that Tony Law is on, and that Tony Law is brilliant. Proof, I think, that people are idiots. If you don’t want to be an idiot, then buy a ticket from here before 6, or at the gig after 6:


Its bloomin’ Time Out recommended and everything.

That is all from me. I could keep typing but I fear it would only be bad news for us all. Goodbye, unless you are a pessimist and would prefer a badbye. (See? Sorry again. I will tiptoe quietly away)