YM4J (+ bonus real time update)

I wrote this blog earlier today, but wi-fi let me down by being less omnipresent than I always assume it is. As far as I’m concerned, wi-fi is the closest real thing that acts like the idea of God as possible. It is many places, it provides an incredible wealth of services and it somehow avoids areas where people really need it, or costs when people are most vulnerable. Er, yeah. That sort of works. Anyway, here’s today’s blog with added update at the end:


Every now and then something will pop up that makes me realise that a) how amazing people are and b) how much I have my head in the sand at times. Tonight I’m doing a set at a fundraising gig for the Youth March For Jobs. I vaguely knew that some people were marching from somewhere and that it was about the current unemployment situation, but I have zapping about the country like a photon in a, er, zappy machine, and so through lack of research had no idea that the Jarrow Marchers have marched all 330 miles from Jarrow in the North East of the UK, arriving in London on Nov 5th all against the cuts and the rise in unemployment the government are bringing, much like the Jarrow marchers of the 1936 depression. How amazing is that? I complain if I have to walk 30 minutes, even if I have issues I need to address. Admittedly these issues are usually to do with not having had lunch or something far more tame, but even when I’ve been on huge demonstrations the unhealthy bit of me will usually be flagging by the last stretch. Yet here we have people so upset with the state of things they will march nearly the length of England as statement.

I’ve never been a fan of real jobs but that’s mostly cos I’m shit at doing them, hence my foray into a field of shouting at drunk people. Thing is though, if I was a young person looking for work right now, I’d be terrified. Unemployment has reached an all time high with the figures from 2009 of 1 in 5 young people unable to work, having now risen again in the last two years. I’m currently broke but I’ve never had to live off benefits. Sure I sometimes live off L’s bank balance rather than mine, but even so, its never for that long. How are you meant to look forward to life if you can’t even support yourself? More importantly, how do the government think they’ll ever provide a successful working and earning society if they can’t employ the people that are the future of business? It seems like such a terrible catch 22 situation, and I can’t, for the life of me, understand how Cameron intends for it to work.

Those in jobs are no better, with pension plans coming in yesterday that are supposedly ‘money saving’ according to Danny Alexander. The only way they seem to be money saving is by making people work so hard for a decent pension that they’ll probably die before they get it, therefore meaning the DWP don’t have to hand anything out. Sorry, this blog has just got all miserable hasn’t it? It was meant to be about how great people can be and how constantly in awe of them I am for how they choose to stand up to this sort of oppression. Tonight myself, Simon Munnery and a whole host of comedians and brilliant music types (such as the excellent Grace Petrie. Do check her out at www.gracepetrie.com ) shall be doing our bit to stand up to it and hopefully we can make it fun for those marchers. If nothing else, they’ll get to sit down for a while and watch and I’m sure they need it.

Check out the YM4J site at youthfightforjobs.com or jarrowmarch11.com. For any students out there, check out the march next week on Nov 9 which will be huge and all those worried about their pensions do strike on Nov 30th. Its important we at least try and fix all this.

God I sound preachy. Maybe use the fact that I’ll stop when you fix things as an incentive? Tomorrow I shall whine so much you’ll think whales are dying. Hear that Cameron? No one wants whales to die! No one! Not even sharks!




I am now home. The gig was shit. It seemed everyone was there was so keen on Marxism they all thought they’d speak at the same time as me to share an equal workload. The stage was in the middle of the pub, by the door lit only by a blue light – an odd choice for the event, which meant no one could be seen properly, an introduction that didn’t even say I was a comic, and a mic that was attached to the stand, I shouted over some people chatting for 15 minutes. Why is it so difficult for some people to get something so easy, right? I stayed long enough to watch the excellent Joe Wells who didn’t get the response he deserved and then ran away even though I knew Ken Loach would be speaking and he’s ace. Sigh. What a shame. Still, thank you to the 20 lovely people who did actually watch and I did the gig so now my karma meter should be back up high somewhere and tomorrow I will actually kill some whales on Cameron’s doorstep as penalty. If he wasn’t such a prick then those people wouldn’t have felt the need to march and I wouldn’t have had to do that shit gig. I hate you David Cameron.