It rarely happens that I see something that everyone else has raved about and yet I don’t like it. Usually I am happily on that bandwagon asking for a shotgun seat at the front or play a bit of banjo at the back as we chase after those who disagree. It does happen occasionally though. I’m not ashamed to say I liked ‘Kick Ass’ less than everyone else. I didn’t hate it. I just didn’t want to worship it as my god, dress as the characters and spend my days repeating lines as though I had forgotten any other way to communicate. Like I said, I didn’t hate it though and I could see why others might enjoy it, which is the least I’m usually able to do. Sometimes this does require me being derogatory towards others, assuming they only like it because they also like running head first into brick walls and eating card. Sometimes though its because I can take aspects of the film and see how, were I a more discerning type, would hugely enjoy those bits. I like this aspect of me. I feel that makes me less of an ignoramous if I am able to see how others may think. It doesn’t mean I don’t think they’re bellends for doing so, but you know, its more accommodating than most.

Before watching Drive last night, the previous screenings audience walked out with a mixture of comments ranging from ‘that was brilliant’ to ‘that was the worst film I have ever seen’ and ‘I think we should get the bus home.’ The last wasn’t really relevant but I felt that to omit it may make you doubt the realism of what I had seen and I wanted to give you the full picture. I still don’t know if they did get the bus home or walked. I hope you don’t buckle under the weight of that mystery. Chances on bus are high. The woman was very insistent. Anyway upon seeing Drive I could see how people might have liked that film. Its incredibly stylistic. Its the sort of film I feel I should like. Sexy camera angles, limited but necessary dialogue, a silent heroic main protagonist, violence and fast cars. From that brief description it sounds like the sort of film I’d instantly worship and spend many a day telling others to see for it be amazing and nothing less.

However, I hated it. It hated it even more because it contained many things I like – cars, violence, Christina Hendricks – and yet it was still rubbish. There was no real storyline, no real character depth to anyone in it, and some bits were so slow Pinter would’ve got frustrated. Look I’m not pretending I’m a film snob. I love some films with no storyline or attempt to be clever in anyway, but usually those films know this about themselves and play it tongue in cheek. Drive wants to be hella cool and instead feels like its missing something. Sorry, everything. It feels like its missing any substance, any attempt at not just being an overextended music video. People in our cinema screening were laughing at the ludicrousness of some bits. I couldn’t laugh because I still felt so angry that two hours of my life had been wasted on a film that looks like it should have been decent. I want to be more cleverly critical of it but it was so much nothing that I feel I could more easily analyse and write a thesis on a piece of grey card.

But people did like it. Reviews have loved it. I can’t get why. I just don’t. Maybe I am an ignoramus after all? Or maybe others are suckered by some nice lighting, 80’s sounding tunes and a very quiet Ryan Gosling. I suppose I can see why people are glad they’ve seen it. I for one, despite loathing it, left that cinema feeling pleased I’d put myself through such torment. For it gives hope to all of us who’ve never written a film that it really doesn’t take that much thought at all. You can expect my cinematic debut ‘Cycle’ anytime soon.