Quiztory In The Making

I’ve never been a pub quiz champion before. I always fear them slightly not knowing a lot about pubs. Arf. That’s an arf for two reasons. One, they don’t ask you about pubs of course you big silly. Two, I know shitloads about pubs. Well, a bit anyway. But I have never been part of a winning pub quiz team until last night. Usually I am in league with others squandering around 6th place, giving a hefty sigh as yet again my answer of ‘Dolph Lungren’ wasn’t the capital of Indonesia. Well, last night, everything changed. Taking part in an awesome film based pub quiz and teamed up with Sam – film buff, Ali – observation queen, Nat – former quiz champion and Tom – luckily he once watched The Kite Runner, we were the ultimate team. We were A Quiztral For A Knave. I feel I should point out that it’s pretty important to have the word ‘quiz’ in your team name somewhere. This was all started by some friends having the team name Quiz Akabusi and has never stopped since. I have decided that the next quiz I take part in, the team needs to be called Quiz Quizstofferson. Or Quiztina Aguilara. Or Quiz Tarrant. You get how it works. Saying that, A Quiztral For A Knave was appropriate as it was a ‘quiz’ take on a book that had a film based on it, and last night we took part in a quiz with a round about films based on books. It was like fate. Only sort of not really at all like fate.

Nat very kindly picked me and Ali up, while we raced to the pub, knowing the quiz had started without us and Sam had sat by himself taking on the first two rounds. Tom was sitting in the front of the car trying to dry his trousers (don’t ask) and we were all panicking. Its bad being late to meet a friend, its worse still to expect that friend to be a pub quiz team all by himself. As Nat raced through the streets of East London, I quipped about how, if we were to miss the first two rounds, and yet still beat all the professional pub quiz goers that head to this particular quiz, we would indeed be the coolest people that ever existed. Several beers, arguments about whether the chicken in Surf’s Up clip we had just seen was holding 3 or 4 squid skewers or not and general panic about what Kevin Spacey’s character was called in the Usual Suspects (not Kaiser Solzei, his other name), and we sat patiently, expecting defeat. There were loads we got wrong, and some we hazarded a lucky guess at. There was also a 5 point bonus question that luckily actually was answered with ‘Dolph Lungren’, and the rest, as they say, is quiztory. We, A Quiztral For A Knave, were the proud champions of a £6 bottle of Martini Cava. Having spent £2.50 each getting in, it perhaps wasn’t the greatest of prizes. But we didn’t need prizes. We had a winning team. I wanted to run around all the tables shouting ‘Na na, na na na na, waaa eeey eeyyy, na na na’, and singing ‘We Are The Champions’, but we were in East London so I got scared I’d get glassed.

Tom and Nat hadn’t met Sam and Ali till last night and I can’t but feel that by bringing this group together with out individual skills and abilities, we may have the ultimate quiz team of all time. I wonder if we should ditch our respective careers and go travelling around the country acing answers and living off our £25 winnings or just surviving on pissy cheap champagne. We could have our own soundtrack. Our own bit shit road movie, with someone, anyone, played by Seth Green. Or, more likely, it was a bit of a fluke and if we ever try and do it again, we’ll horribly fail. I guess the answer lies in future quiz fests. Or perhaps the answer actually lies in ‘Dolph Lungren’.

NB: The Film Quiz was expectionally well run and should you fancy going then the Facebook fan page is here:


Thing is, if you do turn up, we will kick your arse. Or not, more likely.