Crawling, Not Waving

Off to host the comedy at the Camden Crawl this afternoon so shall keep this brief. It should be much fun, spending hour after hour talking to all the passing trendy kids as they pop in to watch some hilarity before going off to watch brand new bands that are the coolest thing with names like Shitkicker and the Banjos or Tunebakeoff Brougues or something. I do genuinely enjoy hosting at the Camden Crawl, but there is nothing to make you feel old like looking at the entire weekend’s line-up and only recognising one or two names. Of those one or two, I only like one, Roots Manuva, and he’s on tomorrow when I can’t go. So with my wristband that allows me to check out all the top names, I am going to do my compereing, and then at 5, survey the list of everyone playing, where they all are, then promptly leave and go watch Iron Man 2. Yes I am sad and old. Yes I am the opposite of cool. Which I suppose is warmish. Yes, I should be using this opportunity to cram myself up against crazy cool tight jeaned trucker capped emo indie electro bandit grocer bastards, or whatever the term is now, as we mosh bop to hard style rock jazz gospel, but I’m not. And that’s mostly because I’d call it hard style rock jazz gospel and at some point someone would ask me to leave.

I am going to spend the afternoon making up band names and see how many of the audience believe me. Here, as a tester for you, is a mix of bands. Some are real and are playing the Crawl this weekend. They may well be very good, I just don’t know. The rest I’ve made up. They also may be very good, but its unlikely as I’ve made them up. In my head, they are mostly shit. Sorry imaginary bands. Why not try and guess which ones are real? Answers tomorrow.

Twelve Kinds Of Ankle
Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs
Eat Your Brain and Sick It Out
David Arse
Yr Ods
Stylistic Henry and the Timelords
Leafcutter John
Bark Off
That Fucking Tank
Emily Barker and the Red Clay Halo
Raaargle Spaaargle
Cosmo Jarvis
Is Tropical
Oooh Danone

Just a bit of fun innit? I honestly, had I not written it, would not be able to get any right. Post your answers in the comments though. There’ll be a prize for anyone who gets it all right. Maybe. No googling!

If you are going to the Crawl, come say hello. We’re at the Abbey Tavern on Kentish Town Road. There’s a pretty stellar line-up both days so should be awesome. Why not come and point out just how uncool I am? In return I will try and understand your disco folk stomp grooves.