Marching Onwards

Its Spring! There’s sunshine outside my window and several duckling, baby rabbits (ribbits?) and daffodils all simultaneously dancing in circles outside my window. The last few bits were lies, but there is definitely sunshine and I’m fairly sure all the other bits will follow pretty soon as that’s what happens in Spring isn’t it? I’ve seen it on the telly. Not on Spring Watch, that’s the dull show where they stare at mattresses and trampolines until they break. Watch the other programs show though is that March is when the days get lighter, things get brighter and generally everything becomes a shed load less depressing and miserable than it was from December through to February. What they fail to mention when painting this picture of a season of joy is the hayfever and incessant rain that also comes as part of the package. It will only be days before my eyes feel so itchy I’ll be tempted to use a wire scourer on my corneas, I sneeze so often that I’ll be convinced it’ll only a matter of time before my brain is dislodged and flies out of my nostrils, and all the while the weather flits between bright sunshine, until you go outdoors in a tshirt at which point you get soaked to the bone gaining pneumonia to add to your already weak and broken ill self. God I hate Spring.

Its also St David’s Day in Walesland. I like St David, he seems like an alright Saint, primarily because he is famous for teaching others which is far better than killing a ‘dragon’ aka a small lizard, bit of rope, something made out of papier mache, or whatever it is that Andrew did. I’m still not convinced he did anything except have a fondness for the X-Men. Teaching people stuff is important though, so I’ll allow St David and also he did the hella cool thing of making hills appear underneath him so he could preach to others. I’m not big on the preaching bit, but anyone who has control over the moles like that is awesome. I feel like I’m being patriotically Welsh today, despite only being an 8th Welshish in heritage, as I’m heading to Cardiff with Tom Craine for a gig. Its not a St David’s gig or anything. No far from it, its a gig for Cardiff medical students. So fingers crossed the people of Cardiff don’t get too drunk on whatever it is they drink (leek juice?) or they’ll be no students to help them out. Instead they’ll have to get treated by real doctors which in turn means all those with private health care won’t have anyone to treat them. Actually, second thoughts, will all Welsh people drink loads and hopefully we’ll kill off the Welsh upper classes.

Firstly to Bristol to record Tom’s BBC Bristol show, with today’s theme of ‘How To Make The World A Better Place’. All I can think of is to get rid of my local Morrisons, ban Loose Women and have more trees. I’ll get thinking or it’ll be a pretty shit radio show.