Arse Gerbils

Listen right, my brain hurts so you are going to get very little from me today. Its all self inflicted, well to an extent anyway. I definitely had some booze last night, so that much is my fault. However I don’t think I had enough booze to condone how shit I feel at the moment so I don’t think its all my fault. Its partly my body’s fault for not being able to handle it. Stupid body. The more astute of you may say ‘but you are your body and therefore that bit is still your fault’. To that I would say ‘poo off you bunch of wisearse bumheads’. Yes. That’s how I deal with you sort of people. I’m hungover, I’m allowed to say ‘bumheads’. The other bit of blame goes to a lager called Sierra Nevada that always seems to hurt me. Its named after a mountain range and I daresay if I drank a mountain range I would get a similar sort of head pain. Yes, again you might say ‘but you chose to drink that so its still your fault’ and to you I would say ‘see what I said a few sentences back, it still applies but now only twice as much’.

I don’t regret it at all as I very much felt like drinking after another very fun London Comedy Improv night. I have decided I like doing it a lot and its still a really nice change from the stand-up. For a start you work in a team, so if I hugely screw something up and don’t do it very well, then everyone take the blame whether they like it or not. Also, its so nice to just be able to do pretty much anything with any of the scenes. And if what you’ve done doesn’t really work then everyone takes the blame as you’re all part of a team. Essentially what I’m saying is that I really enjoy working with professionals who can work around me messing up. The audience were lovely, but the last time I did it was when the entry was free over Xmas and so the venue was completely rammed. It was a shame not as many people turned up last night when they had to pay. I can only conclude that everyone is who didn’t turn up is a terrible cheapskate. Its a seriously good night, so you should totally join the Facebook fan page or @LondonImprov on Twitter and find out when the next one is. Last night included, among other things: a four headed expert on punk rock pottery; Rufus Hound singing a song about how his dad keeps gerbils in his arse; a rave in a condemned cell and the return of Jesus. That’s what you missed you did.

Tonight I am at the lovely Hecklers in Aldershot which should be fun if my brain ever decides to stop pounding. Till then I am going to hope my Edinburgh show will write itself by me hiding under some covers and occasionally making the noise ‘baaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh’.