House Arrest The Game!

I’m trapped at home again today. I say trapped but its just that I have absolutely no reason to leave the indoors. My gig tonight has been cancelled, as was last night’s which was a massive shame as the audience consisted of 4 people and a dog. I’ve had gigs where dogs are in the crowd before, but this one was sitting attentively watching. I was going see what would happen if I talked about my cats and if this would spur some heckling but we will never know. So with no gig tonight either, nowhere to go during the day, and the weather being grim outside, I should probably just stay indoors. To make myself less sad about it, I will play the ‘House Arrest Game’ which is where I pretend I have committed heinous crimes against humanity and until my trial I am currently under house arrest. To win this game I have to stay indoors longer than Slobadom Milosovic was in 2001. So far, I haven’t yet won a game. Why don’t you try? The other game I play is ‘Agrophobia!’ where I spend a long time convincing myself that I shouldn’t go outside incase zombies have attacked/giant worms are eating people/ everything’s on fire. Unfortunately no matter how hard I try I often don’t believe myself and this one doesn’t really work. I suppose I should take a lot of paranoia inducing drugs to really win this game. Or set fire to everything outside which, alternatively, may lead to me being under house arrest. I can’t believe I’ve only just figured that one out. I think both of these games should be marketed by Mattel. House Arrest! could have a warrent in it for your house arrest when you open the box and if you try and leave you will be shot, and ‘Beware Outdoors!’ could have fumes in that make you loopy. Or not.

So what to do when inside my house? Well there are series of things I could do, for example writing comedy type things, doing a long overdue clean-up, get loads of boring comedy admin done, play Xbox until my eyes bleed, drink whisky until I’m so drunk I try to eat one of the cats, hide in a cupboard till Layla gets home then jump out and say ‘boo!’ or just sit. Which of these to do today? Who knows? Only time, and my level of patience will tell. I might even go for a walk. Not sure to where, possibly as far as I can go until I have to come back. I spent some time doing this when I worked for EdExcel for 4 weeks as a temp. Everyday I would see where I could get to during my lunch break before I’d have to walk back. My record, from the office in Holborn was Elephant and Castle tube station. Not sure if this is good or not but I didn’t end up eating any lunch because of this and felt rather ill all afternoon.

So much for yesterday’s plan to put youtube vids on this blog by the way, as I have noticed for the Facebook readers that the vids don’t show up and it looks like I have just alluded to nothing, like this:

See I did allude to nothing there so you can all feel what its like. But Facebook does that even when something is there. I suppose it thinks that because it has Mafia Wars, it doesn’t need youtube vids in blogs. Well screw you Facebook, here’s another one (please note FB users I am now referencing something below that you won’t see. Deal with it):


That track has my favourite ever bass line. It should now be one of your favourite bass lines too. What bass line say you facebook readers? Mwahhahahahahahahah!

That is all for today. I’m going to see which cupboard is the best one to hide in.