Whatever Happened To…..

I know many of you often read a blog and then think ‘Tiernan what ever happened to that thing you said in that blog that time?’ None of you ever say that or tell me directly, but I can just tell that you want nothing more than an update on blogs of days gone past. This and I am a bit hungover and going to spend time today going to buy Modern Warfare 2 and shooting people in the face. And do the same in the game. Boom boom. See what I did there? The old ‘pull back and reveal’. Hilarious. Unless I actually shot people in the face. I’ve been thinking about war violence a lot these last few days. Yesterday in particular as I spent a huge amount of time contemplating what, if I had been killed by stepping on a mine in Afghanistan, Gordon Brown would write my name as in a letter to my mum. If he can’t spell James, he’d be ruined with Douieb.

Right, here’s some catch up things as a lazy way of not really blogging:

– Firstly, thanks to Pixie Bear, Chris, Alick, Helen, Misha and Nic for actually posting a comment underneath my super lazy blog from Sunday. Some good comments although no actual blogs posted. However Chris did promote his blog which he rightfully says is no way as good as mine. Tee hee hee. Seriously go check that out here: http://bloodymarvellous.wordpress.com.

– Apparently a way to kill the worms in my chilli plant is to put slightly soapy water in the soil. I am scared about this as it may make the chillies all sudsy. I can’t think of anything worse than something that burns your mouth then makes you burp bubbles. Still I could sell them in joke shops.

– People have now said hello to me after knowing me only through Twitter. I’m glad such a barrier is broken. It now means I can block you if you look funny. Or sound funny. Or smell funny. The people I met yesterday didn’t. Well done them.

– Only the left side of my new headphones works. I am still using them to spite my cats. However either my right ear feels horribly left out, or if I put the ear bits in the wrong ears then I get disorientated and fall over. I don’t. But I probably will and I’m too scared to try it.

– My trainers have got even more squeaky. I’m not sure how this is possible but I’m starting to become convinced that I need to WD40 them. I am getting some new trainers today by being a corporate whore. I will explain more after the whoreness has happened, but until then to not want to jeopardise such whorishness.

– My new material worked. Well nearly all of it. Ok, half of it. Then I got drunk. I like treating drunkenness as a reward. I worry that if I ever become funnier or more successful I will just be an alcoholic. As such, at the moment I only get drunk a bit, due to the underwhelming status of day-to-day happenings. This needs to continue in order for my health to be maintained. Fat Tuesday has sold out tonight. Sorry liver.

That’s it. I’ve just read it back and its not that interesting. Well that’s your fault readers for asking for updates. Even though you didn’t. If there is anything I have left answered, do let me know. Even though I will most likely never ever tell you.

Before I do, here’s a hugely premature notification for me doing my show 28 Years Later for the last two times in London ever. First is on November 30th with the awesome Caroline Mabey doing her show as well. This is at Downstairs at the Last Days of Decadence, Shoreditch. Shall endlessly remind people nearer the time.

The second will be on January 8th at the Etcetera Theatre in Camden. This is the night before I turn 29 so technically the last time I can honestly do the show about being 28. Come along and then we can all reward ourselves by drinking ourselves into my birthday at which point I will drink more.

Must now run away.