Edinburgh Day 24

The end is nigh and its bloody lovely. Don’t get me wrong, this year’s festival, has, thus far, been awesome. But as Rich Sandling was saying to me the other night, if we weren’t enjoying it we would be such horribly broken people. I am so very tired, my throat and chest hate me and all I crave for is my bed back home and a few days of sleeping with no thought of gigging. Its weird how the creature comforts become so important when you slog your arse off for a whole month without stopping. There are lots of little things I miss. Like our sofa. Ok admittedly, its not little. In fact its fairly big and were you to use that as the judge of small sized things, then I would be microscopic. Quite miss my cats too, although Layla told me yesterday that they both have fleas so I’m happy to wait until those have gone before I see them again. Generally everyone that I speak to up here is really enjoying the fringe – good audience numbers, fun shows etc – and yet they all have just had enough and need to finish now.

I don’t have many extra gigs this week and the few that I have got, I’ve cancelled in an attempt to save my throat, which yesterday was at its worst. Oddly, I then stayed out for a while last night, only drinking whisky, and today its a damn sight better. This must be why drunken old tramps are able to shout at pigeons so well and with such projection. Although I doubt they drink single malt. I cant understand why whisky has worked. I can only assume my vocal chords are pissed and can’t feel any pain. Once they sober up I’m going to have a weird voice hangover where certain words are a bit wobbly and sound sad. I’m not sure all of it’s whisky. A big part was probably that the only show I did yesterday was mine and I spent the rest of the day watching other people’s shows. Here’s a quick lowdown on some things what I did see:

Lunch with my Dad – ***** Its not a show, but I started the day having lunch with my dad. It was pretty damn good and we went to the City Restaurant to eat good stodgy grub. Good performances all round, with my dad tucking into egg and chips with the true look and determination of a hungry man, while I annihilated a veggie breakfast with the stoic drive of a dude that needs a breakfast. Original, witty, definitely a pick of the fringe. Anyone else that would like lunch with my dad, please let me know and I’ll give you details.

(Please note, none of the shows will get star ratings, as I think it’s massively unfair. I doubt that when the universe was created , those large balls of gas intended to be at the heart of poor journalism and vitriolic attitudes. Although maybe they did and thats the missing link scientists have been looking for. God is a critic. But he doesn’t exist. Therefore neither should critics. Maybe.)

Show 1: Five Characters In Search Of Susan – This is the show that’s on before me and everday I’ve walked into our room, noted the mess of bears, pill containers and other random things and been completely intrigued. Sue is an excellent actor (or is it still actress?) and the show is a really dark character piece that I really enjoyed. One character in particular, Lynn Scruples, a reviewer, is just genius. Very pleased I now know what all the mess is for too.

Show 2: Helen Arney – 8 1/2 Shows about Love and Other Myths – Go see this now. That’s all I will say. Possibly one of the very best things I’ve seen all fringe. Its just so bloody lovely. I will leave the rest to you to go and indulge in its lovliness.

Show 3: Elis James – The Most Cautious Little Boy In Wales – I took my parents to see this as I knew they’d like Elis. They did, as did the crowd and it was an awesome show. Lots of great stories, told with charm and very funny gags, including a particularly good tale about a suicidal swan. Elis said it was the worst show he’d done, but he is full of shit. FACT. It was good. Go see.

Show 4: Beardyman – A one off show, that wasn’t a one off, cos he’d done it the night before. This show was what I needed to see at the fringe, as, while funny a lot of the time, the main emphasis was not on the comedy but the music. I did feel like Beardyman was mocking me as my throat was so sore I could barely talk and he could make vast amounts of other amazing noises. I was somewhat jealous and partly tempted to run on stage, cough on his mic and run away again to ruin his week. I didn’t though, because he’s a nice bloke and I would’ve got booed by the whole full Udderbelly.

Just as I’m finishing writing this, the nominations have been announced. Best of luck to Pete Johansson and Carl Donnelly for Best Newcomer and to all the other nominees. Right off to get that show count down to 4…..