Edinburgh Day 15 – Day Off

Its finally my day off today. To ensure I spend it the way I should ie resting and prepping myself for the rest of the fest, I cleverly drank my face off last night, to the point where the whole of today is a write off and I feel like a broken man. My plans of going to Edinburgh Zoo have been offset until the 31st. This is because a) Layla wants to go and she has just left to go back to London, but will be back up again by then and b) because I don’t think they will like it if I am sick on a penguin. You can’t be sure, but I have a feeling its in the list of things you shouldn’t do to penguins while they parade, along with poke them with sticks, throw them, or try and eat them. I also assumed it was going to rain but it hasn’t, so now my lack of zooage is entirely down to my drink damage. I’m sad Layla has left because I will miss her loads until she is back on the 27th, but also today I need looking after. Now I have to look after myself which is hugely unfair. If any of you fancy coming round and just bringing me nice stuff, then please do. I would like chocolate, some films with violence in, a cable so that Tom’s Xbox works because he forgot the one that connects it to our HD unready TV, and later some booze so I can pretend I’m ok with drinking it then retch a bit and pour it away. Thanks. As it is my day off, this is all the blog you’re getting unless you bring me those things now. If you don’t you will have to make do with these simple notes from the previous 24 hours:

– I forgot my keys for the first time ever last night. This meant I had to wake Tom up at 6am to open the door, which I don’t think he was too pleased about. I slurred sorry but its not really a proper apology. To be fair, Tom has forgotten his keys on several occasions, though most of these have been at reasonable times of day. Still I like to think that by accident I have exacted revenge by my really stupid key forgetting and that neither of us will do it again. If it was a competition, I’ve won.

– Silent Disco is still awesome but not as awesome as last year. This is mostly down to the stupidly large size of the venue and the fact you can’t take drinks onto the dance floor. I can only dance after booze and it meant not much dancing was had due to the wanting to drink. Sort it out for us drinky dancers people!

– Sanderson Jones is Kent Valentine. Kent Valentine is Sanderson Jones. I have never seen them in the same room, so they must be one person. Its like how Luke Roberts is Bryan Lacey with different hair. Take that comedy doppelgangers!

– Saying my show was a ‘lovely experience’ with a confused look on your face is not a compliment.

– Go see Seymour Mace and Peter Slater in Sundayland at the Pleasance Baby Grand at 5.45pm. Its an hour of mental. I challenge you not to laugh at Dancing Like Old People and Nice Tunes, Nasty Things. I was the guest for Swear at Who, which meant two members of the audience swore at me for 10 seconds and the best swearer got a prize. There were some good swears, though my favourite was a the loser of the two just calling me a ‘little prick’ in a high pitched voice.

– My show yesterday was lovely. I met the Team Tiernan crew en masse. They all seemed awesome. Here’s a pic:


Felt bad because I couldn’t talk to them all and had to run to go and get sworn at, which was a shame as they’d all brought badges and pom poms. Hoping they didn’t mind and will catch up with all 6 billion of them soonish.

– Just had a phone call about what may be the best Comedy Club 4 Kids show ever. More on that soon.

– Silent Disco was my idea, but because it was a good night, it now appears to have been Danny’s idea. I’m not sure how he did that.

– Saw Simon Amstell (hear that name drop) and he was very nice as always. Reminded me of the time I walked past him in the West End about two years ago and assumed he wouldn’t say hello and so carried on walking. Then he said hello and I looked like a dick. I am a dick, Simon, however, is a lovely man.

– If someone mixes records, they are a DJ. If someone mixes drinks, they are a fool. Unless they are a cocktail waiter. In which case they are a fool’s aid.

– Edinburgh is a terrible place to be hungover in.

Right think that’s it. I must now sleep.