Edinburgh Day 5

Where is the line between being a racist and merely laughing at someone’s accent. Yesterday I had two incidences of straight face failure both due to accents. One I think was fine. A little girl at Comedy 4 Kids shouted that she was from Scunthorpe in a full on Scunthorpe accent. It was sad with the energy of someone who wants to sound happy but was completely contradicted by the miserable sound of her accent. It made a lot of us laugh. Later was the second one which was probably not fine. Me, Craine and Luurtsema went to a Chinese Restaurant for some grub. Its a lovely place up past the Pleasance with a very quirky middle aged lady owner who has a bizzare Scottish-Chinese accent. As we arrived she was telling some customers that they hadn’t taken the complimentary sweets of choice which happened to be lollipops. Never was a word less fortunate to have that many L’s in then when being said by someone with that combination of vocal inflections. As hard as I tried I couldn’t stop crying with laughter everytime ‘Rorripop rorripop!’ was shouted with enthusiasm. I feel bad but at the same time, its possibly on a par with laughing at Scunthorpians. The food in the restaurant was amazing, and the odd little lady spent some time telling us about her extortionate water bill which was well over £12,000 because the water company said she had a leak. We pointed out that to waste that much water she should have been flooded by now, which was an answer she liked and decided on our advice about what court proceedings she should go through. I love it when people decide that the likes of myself, Tom and Nat, three comedians, with little to no knowledge of carrying out legal action, are asked for important advice. We gave some. Lets hope she doesn’t end up locked up with a flooded restaurant.

First show is now in the bag. That bag is rather heavy and full of a lot of words. I’m so pleased thats done and feel much more relaxed about the whole affair. Think it went well although since it finished I spent the whole day over analysing bits where the audience didn’t laugh as hard as at other bits. Paul B said it was a good first show though and I trust him not to lie. Except when its to force me to go out drinking. Highlights were a man who cheered at my gig about the Michelson-Morely experiment. I don’t even know what the gag means but he was a physicist and got very excited which was nice. There was also an odd woman at the back that spoke in an accent I really couldn’t place who said engagement rings should cost 6 months of a man’s salary. Her husband looked tired and sad. The best bit though was very very late last night when I got home and I had a facebook message from someone who had been saying that they’d really enjoyed the show. I was touched by that as they didn’t have to go out of their way to let me know. Lets hope its a good omen. Had a reviewer in yesterday too so hoping they enjoyed it as much as the others did. I know I was nervy in places and I forgot one really crucial callback line which was a shame but today that should be all rectified methinks.

From there I rushed to Comedy 4 Kids which was just brilliant. Thanks to a boy called Lewis the Poois, and 7 year old Chris who liked dancing, I spent the first 25 mins just blabbering away, before bringing Kiosk of Champions who were just excellent at kids comedy as were Rob Broderick and Carly Smallman who closed the show. After that followed a drink with Sarah ( @misswiz who is head of the almighty #TeamTiernan), rudely interrupted an important meeting Sarah Millican was having and and then bumped into Tom and Nat for rorripop madness. Whilst eating we watched, through the window, a man staggering down the road opposite. He may have been disabled but we were fairly sure he was drunk. Then it occurred to Tom he might actually be a zombie and discussion ensued about how close he would have to get to us before we became scared. It was at this point I realised I have got far too into zombie culture and should probably stop. If I assume everyone staggering in Edinburgh might be the undead, then I am going to have a very difficult month.

Today its the same two shows today with further press in, followed by Carey Marx’s show which I’m really looking forward to, and then maybe a party depending on things. Those things being cash flow and liver strength. Neither of which are at their peak.