The Mist

Its a bit misty here this morning. Everyone is saying its fairly common and what always happens but I am getting the British panic that perhaps its the end of the sunshine and now the summer is over in Spain. I’m not used to it sticking around for quite so long. Its been really hot. Like really really hot. People from around the world would probably not think much of this, but again my British sensibilities mean that while I really enjoy the sunshine and heat, I feel I have to make the odd complaint about exactly how hot it is. All the other Brits like this and we all nod and agree a bit, then go back to actually enjoying it. Its the only way we can really relax. Now there is mist this morning I’m having a real field day (day = 5 minutes) complaining about how the holiday is ruined. If it hasn’t cleared in an hour I’m going to go for a stroll in it and search for gorillas. Or big scary insect creatures.

Yesterday was another day of pool and eating. I felt a bit braindead and was told that this is because I am actually slowing down and relaxing for once. Whilst it’s nice to relax I’m afraid that my slow brain will make me sloppy for Edinburgh and when I get back I’ll have to get mega tense again just to be on form. I’ve also finished my Zombie Survival Guide and I’m now on Max Brookes second book ‘World War Z’, which, only 80 pages in, is already one of my favourite books ever. It is completely terrifying though and doing nothing for my paranoia about an impending zombie attack. What if I’m all relaxed and sleepy when 400 zombies wade out of the Mediterranean Sea? (This is something that is possible due to their lack of need for oxygen and slow discomposure rate according to the Zombie Survival Guide) I won’t be able to build my fortress on the 3rd floor of the block or prepare my supplies or weapons. I’m getting worried how much this possibility concerns me and I’m looking forward to finishing my zombie books asap and starting on something a tad light hearted. Next one is Shappi Khorsandi’s book. Hopefully that won’t get my worried about the Iranian government.

Kirsty and Angus continue to be a constant source of entertainment, spending upwards of 30 minutes taking it in turns to sit on the bottom of the water slide while the other one slides down and kicks them in the back and into the pool. It looks pretty painful but they assure me its not. I worry that in several months time it will be discovered they have warped their spines. I will claim no responsibility. They are both fascinated by a man who only has one leg and walks on crutches. Kirsty doesn’t ask questions, she just walks up very close to him and stares and occasionally points. Luckily he seems to have not noticed this or isn’t too bothered. Angus however keeps asking me questions about why he only has one leg and what may have happened. My favourite has been when he enquired ‘ do you think he did too much karate? And maybe someone punched his leg off?’ If martial arts was that dangerous I wonder if more or less people would partake. I think the one legged man noticed me laughing so hard I snorted as Angus pointed in his direction and he hobbled to another sunbed. Children have no disability tact awareness whatsoever. Later followed Angus commenting on Layla’s mum’s black and white swimsuit saying that ‘your swimsuit is lovely. You look just like a cow.’ The boy is a tiny Larry David.

Not much planned for today except more pool and possibly even the sea. Its always hard to convince myself to swim in the sea when its freezing and full of stones and crabs and probably sharks and giant squid. Whereas the pool is temperate and only has a picture of a shark in it. Which is only scary if you are a picture of a person. Then later, following the usual plan, there will be more food of the restaurant variety where everyone will eat lots of meat and fish and as the only veggie I will resort to just chips and salad. Everyone keeps feeling guilty about that, but I do infact really like chips and salad. I am trying to work out if the Spanish are ignorant about how to cater for veggies, don’t care how to cater for veggies, or infact know that many of us like eating chips and salad and favour us so much they have worked out how to let us eat that for a week solid. I think its the second option.

Still no news on the plains. The mist has started to clear now and there are obviously no gorillas, or giant insects. Or if there were they’ve hidden again, so will head back poolside.