Shandy and Poppadoms

I’m a bit wasted today. Not for any reason in particular, the most I consumed last night was a shandy, which hasn’t been potent enough to cause any debilitating effect since I was about 9. Saying that, the sugary lemonade does play havoc with my diabetes so in a way, I probably do get a bit messed up by shandy. I don’t like to admit that though, and I’ll be sure to not even allude to the fact when I’m gigging in Newcastle next week, incase its the sort of comment that would cause the crowd to eat me for breakfast. Not literally, that would be odd and cannibalistic. No, I’m just a bit knackered from things to do. I was very much looking forward to having a weekend off this weekend, but instead I have now stupidly booked Saturday up. No peace for the wicked as they say. Not that I would necessarily class myself as wicked you understand, but if I was, I think the lack of rest would only make me more wicked. I mean its probably tiring being wicked as it is. If you spend all day thwarting good guys and generally aiming to destroy the world, then you’ll probably want a well deserved rest every now and then. Then finding out that after solid work for days and days you are not even allowed a little nap, well, that would just make me more intent on destroying things. If I was the people who decided what things do what and what happens when, then I would say ‘lots of peace for the wicked please’. They would probably calm down a bit then and the world might be a nicer place.

I’m going to do things that require sitting on my arse today and may well have a 1 hour walk to somewhere a bit nice to think about my Edinburgh show. I was meant to have a hospital appointment but once again, for the umpteeth time this year, its been cancelled. I’m starting to develop a paranoia that my doctors don’t want to see me. I’m meant to have a diabetic check up every 6 months to a year, but its now been 13 months and 6 cancelled appointments. I wonder if everytime my name pops up on the weekly appointment list the hospital staff think, ‘oh no, not him. Not that man that really causes very little bother and sits in the waiting room patiently until 3 hours past his appointment time have gone only so the doctor can berate him for 10 minutes for not having blood sugars that are 0.1 point off what they are.’ Really there is no reason they shouldn’t want to see me. Unless of course they are conspiring to make me get diabetic complications. Perhaps they look after everyone else a little too well and they need one patient who screws up a bit for the stats. Either way, I’m pleased not to be spending this lovely day sitting in the Whittington waiting room surrounded by people who keep trumping each other with levels of flu and illness. There’s always someone with a patch over one eye, someone being wheeled around because their feet are swollen, and then a succession of coughing people. It starts with the mild cough person, and gradually moves through persistent cough, heavy cough, and sneezing and coughing, through to coughing up blood and organs but still being ignored by all staff.

I’m off to Basingstoke tonight. Not really sure what happens there. The gig is in an Indian Restaurant which I am excited about, and a little bit worried too. I am excited because there will be poppadoms in my near vicinity and I could live on poppadoms. I wouldn’t live very well due to malnutrition but I would be constantly happy. Poppadoms are possibly one my favouritest foods. I am worried because I get paid in cash and I may spend all that cash on poppadoms. I am also worried incase the audience are the sort of British lads that go to Indian restaurants and shout and sneer. I have only done gigs in restaurants a few times before and while they end up nice, the first spot is usually tough as the audience are eating through their set. Its really not easy to laugh when you have a mouth full of poppadoms. Luckily Matt Reed is on first so he can deal with that crap bit. Hahaha shame on Matt. My third worry will just be whether or not I can do a whole set with a mouth full of poppadoms. Time will tell.