The ‘Pool

I’ve been left in my friends’, Amy and Andrew’s, flat while they’ve gone to work. Even though they are extremely chilled people and I am not the sort that causes masses of mischief I always feel an air of paranoia about being left in someone else’s home by myself. Like I might accidentally do something wrong and break everything. I’ve seen Home Alone and Home Alone 2 and I know what can happen. Just to be sure I have set up several traps with paint buckets and ladders. I’m sure Amy and Andrew won’t mind when they realise that its all in the interest of safety.

Last night’s gig was an odd one. I’ve been told that the gig can either be rowdy or too laid back, and I went in expecting the former. Turned out, it was the latter. Laid back was perhaps too optimistic a term as some of the crowd seemed positively asleep. They weren’t by any means horrible, but they also weren’t vocal, just the listening types. That is a quality many women would pretend to admire in a man, but for an audience it needs to be supplimented with some enthusiasm. As a result, there weren’t too many places to pause for pacing and I rattled through 25 minutes of material in just 20 minutes. We then had a drink or two, watched a new open spot called Curtis do pretty well (and he’s only been going for 9 months, something tells me we should kill him now before he gets far too good!) and some of Jay Ryan’s set which was also great, before scarpering into the cold. Liverpool is so so cold. Colder than you can imagine. Imagine coldness. Yeah its worse than that. Someone should really sort it out. And its no longer the city of culture anymore which must be a bit of a sting. I wonder if that means Europe piles in and takes all the culture away for someone else to have for a year.

I’m meant to be writing my show today. I have my solo preview in just over a week and so far my show is just a mess of bits of material. I have changed the theme of it all about 7 or 8 times and I’m still not sure how to end it. At the moment I’m considering just doing jazz hands and saying ‘Ta Daa!’ then running away. I think that might work.

I thought a day in Liverpool might be the key to finishing off the first draft. Unfortunately we stayed up last night drinking beer and watching Robot Chicken and very old Comedy Store on Paramount so my plan has all gone a bit wrong. In but a few hours I’m off to Halifax which is a place and not just a giant bank. At least I hope it isnt. If I get there and everyone is singing ‘who gives you extra’ I will get violent.