15 Minutes…

I have 15 minutes to write this blog. I like to think of it as the blog equivalent of Speed. Except its a blog, not a bus. And I don’t have to type at 50 mph or my fingers would fall off and my keyboard would collapse. And Dennis Hopper isn’t in it. Mostly ‘cos he’s dead. Also because even if he wasn’t, he probably wouldn’t appear in my blog unless I paid him loads. Keanu Reeves also isn’t in it. He’s not dead, even though all his acting says otherwise. Sandra Bullock’s not in it either. I wouldn’t have her in my blog even if she paid me loads. So essentially, this blog is nothing like Speed. Was there a film called 15 Minutes? If so, its like that. Unless that film isn’t at all about blogging.

As I woke up this morning with a hangover I saw on the news that booze prices are going up to stop people like me drinking like I drank last night. The National Institute of Clinical and Health Excellence, or NICE (which is the worst name for such a company. You shouldn’t sound like a catchphrase from Human Traffic if that’s what you’re trying to prevent), say that one in four adults is drinking too much and the other three are probably trying but are just lightweights. So instead of banning booze or putting a limit on how much booze people can drink, they are just raising the prices. This means people will continue to drink as much but more money will go to the drinks companies and the government in booze tax. Well done NICE, you bunch of idiots. What would be better would be lowering the price of booze loads so that people can save more money and maybe buy DVDs and stay in, or go the cinema or just eat properly so that they don’t just drown their credit crunch sorrows in further booze. I swear sometimes I should run things.

Hmm, 8 minutes left. What else to cover today? Well…Fat Tuesday was bloody good. Go see Stephen Carlin and Seann Walsh’s shows in Edinburgh this year for they shall be ace. And…..5 minutes….argh…..shit. That’s it. Time’s up. I apologise for lack of content. Oh wait, lack of content? It is like Speed. Phew.

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