Guten Tag T-Fans! I’ve been watching a lot of Deutschland ’83 and have now taken up the habit of throwing out random bits of the German I remember from GCSE. ‘Pferd’* is a good one. As is ‘ananas’**. Then adding ‘kopf’*** after any of those or other words seems to be quite satisfying too. I remember a very long word that meant ‘I’ve been to see the sites’ but I’ve tried to type how I think it’s spelled four times now and my brain hurts, so you’ll just have to Google**** it.
Anyway, how are you? Did you survive the floods/blizzards/celebrity death of your choice/general bleakness of January? I managed to do three days of exercise before realising it was the exact opposite of what I enjoy doing. I reckon I’ll give it at least another year before I try any of that nonsense again. It doesn’t seem to involve sitting or eating. Bonkers. Oh and at one point I went to Norwich and I saw an exhibition at the Science Museum about the Cosmonauts. It’s been eventful.
Luckily this next month, the February one, is jam packed full of stuff. Though sadly not stuffed full of jam which would make it a doughnut *****. So let’s cast this waffle****** aside and crack on with actual things you might like. Schnell! Gesundheit Kunst!*******
PARTLY POLITICAL BROADCAST
I only went and started a podcast didn’t I? What am I like eh? Leave me alone for five minutes and I only go and resurrect my old Partly Political Broadcast show but in an audio format. By the time you read this there’ll hopefully be 3 episodes and I’m going to try and keep it going weekly for as long as I can be bothered. Though I’m already only a few episodes in and realise this is more work than I thought it would be. Turns out you can’t just say things into a machine and then the internets instantly makes everyone hear it. Tut.
Each episode has some topical satires and an interview with someone who actually knows what they are talking about and can explain it to an idiot like me.
The iTunes link is here: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/partly-political-broadcast/id1075342863?mt=2
If you do get it on iTunes and enjoy, please give it a rating on the iTunes store and if you can be bothered, a small review too. It’d help loads.
The non-iTunes link, for all you Apple******** haters, is here: https://www.tiernandouieb.co.uk/podcast/
THE WORLD IS FULL OF IDIOTS, LET’S LIVE IN SPACE
Thanks to the ever brilliant Ben Hilton, I recorded my last solo show in January to a very lovely crowd who turned up despite the snow, in a lovely room full of inflatable planets and tiny astronauts. We should hopefully be releasing that on VHX like we did with my last show********* which should all be available in a few months time. I did also forget to do one joke when recording it and this will plague me for the rest of my life. So sad.
Until then I have just 3 performances of that show left before I kill it forever, instantly forget all the words and spend the next year thinking about the one joke I will inevitably forget to do in all 3 performances too. These shows are:
FEBRUARY 9th – The Gulbenkian Café, Canterbury – http://www.thegulbenkian.co.uk/events/theatre/2016/February/2016-02-09-tiernan-douieb.html
FEBRUARY 12th – The Art House Café, Southampton – http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/comedy-tiernan-douieb-gigs-in-the-gallery-at-the-art-house-southampton-fri-12th-feb-16-730pm-tickets-20840599795
FEBRUARY 27th – Purbeck Literary Festival, Dorset – http://www.purbeckliteraryfestival.info/#!comedy/c13gj
So y’know, come to those. Danke schon.
I’m starting the month by doing some shows in Belgium. I doubt anyone on this list lives in Belgium, near Belgium or has heard of Belgium. However if for some reason you are round that way you can come & see me try and remember what material works for an international audience then listen to some other acts speak Flemish. The shows are in Turnhout, Antwerp and Genk, in that order I think. The website for all of them is here, but it’s in Flemish so I have no idea what’s happening when I look at it, even with my sehr, sehr gut Deutsch skills***********:
If you’re in London and like the comedy, this year’s Winter Phoenix Fringe runs from 19th February to the 21st and has a ridiculously good line up including Rich Hall, Rob Delaney, Sara Pascoe and tons more. I’m sharing an hour with Holly Walsh and we’re both doing 30 mins of new material on Feb 20th at 2pm if you fancy coming to that.
All details at: www.phoenixfringe.co.uk
Show with Holly and me: http://www.phoenixfringe.co.uk/events/event/holly-walsh-work-in-progress/
SMASHFest is an exciting science festival that takes place at The Albany Theatre in Deptford from the 18th to the 20th of February for all ages. This year it’s based around solar storms and I’ll be hosting a suitably themed Comedy Club 4 Kids on the 19th followed by a show that evening for young adults and not so young ones. At some point I’ll probably make a joke about flares or something.
The website is here: http://smashfestuk.com
OTHER OTHER THINGS
- This is the Giles Fraser Game, invented by me. Sort of: https://storify.com/TiernanDouieb/the-giles-fraser-game
- There’s only a few days left to listen to this brilliant Radio 4 show by very funny comedian Carey Marx about having a heart attack: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06sp2zg
- Here’s a grumpy blog I wrote about January: https://www.tiernandouieb.co.uk/2016/01/january-doom/
- More comedy stuff. Why not help sponsor this great Comedy Snapshots book? Eh? WHY NOT? https://unbound.co.uk/books/comedy-snapshots
- Similarly why not buy one of these excellent Bowie shirts with all proceeds going to the amazing Arts Emergency? WHY NOT WHY NOT? https://www.philosophyfootball.com/bowie-lightning-flash.html
- This was my favourite article of January: https://t.co/GMFWABxpuB
- #MadeUpGames https://storify.com/TiernanDouieb/madeupgames
- Marek Larwood is a very funny man: https://t.co/zRMoSh5elT
Right das ist alles. There’s probably something I’ve missed out but chances are it wasn’t important and you can’t leave the gas on in an email so we should all be fine. Ultimately this is just a monthly way I can poke all of you and shout ‘LOOK AT ME, LISTEN TO MY THINGS!’ in the most casual way possible. And if I didn’t then who else would? Well exactly.
HAVE A NICE UNBELIEVABLY SHORT MONTH BUT WITH AN EXTRA DAY IN IT!
* Horse, I think.
** I’m pretty sure that’s pineapple.
*** That’s head. Hence ‘horse head’ and ‘pineapple head’. What other words would you possibly need to get by? No other words. Fact.
**** Or find another non-tax avoiding search engine. Oh. There aren’t any good ones. Damn this awful world.
***** I’m typing this before dinner. Can you tell?
****** I mean really, all this is doing is making me more hungry which isn’t conducive to writing more words on a mail out. Sure I could stop and eat something but where’s the challenge in that? And if I’ve learned nothing from Facebook memes, ‘if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you’. Correct, I’ve learned nothing.
******* Fast! Bless you art! I’ve no idea why I wrote that. I’m so hungry.
******** Beware doctors! Eh? Geddit? Oh god so hungry.
********* Which you can still buy. Ahem.
********** I realise Flemish and German are different languages. I also realise that it’s probably an offence to have this many asterisks.