I thought I’d wait and type today’s blog after watching David Cameron do his speech at the end of the Conservatives Conference. It’s the last of the three main parties meetings and probably, or at least I thought so, the most important to pay attention to for the key clues as to how much worse they are going to make things in coming months. So far there has been nothing I wasn’t expecting, with no further give on the NHS situation, more talk about avoiding Europe and Theresa May being a mega twat. However Cameron’s speech was slightly unexpected. Not in a good way of course, but more in the way that I really wasn’t expecting him to peddle such twaddle. Yes that sentence read nicely didn’t it? I know. Towards the end spouting such lines as ‘its not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog’ made it quite clear that he isn’t really saying anything. I mean what does that mean? Look at it. Read it again. Nothing. It means nothing. Unless he is planning on spending public money on one huge Trojan dog to carry out wars in? Or perhaps he is so blind to the reality of the world that he believes Innerspace to be a documentary? Or maybe know that the barbarity of fox hunting has been mostly curbed, posh Tories are resorting to boxing with dogs on their fists? Whilst grim, I’d like to see two young Conservatives hit each other around the face with a disgruntled pit bull.
Ultimately though, it was a speech that said what he thought he should say whilst completely ignoring any actual issues that face the UK. Harping on about aid abroad it felt like that obnoxious person you meet who sponsors a goat in Africa but would never buy a Big Issue or speak to someone that earns less then them as its slightly too close to home. Cameron spoke of being for ‘gay marriage’, as though he’d been reading what was the ‘right on’ thing to say from ten years ago, whilst then taking his values back even further when talking about just how important marriage is and the need to be a ‘family friendly government.’ They aren’t and they never will be as long as they continue to cut child benefits, damage the education system and make changes that can really harm a single parent. Unless its friendly to only some very specific families I assume? Ones that earn enough that none of the changes will affect their child’s chances of getting into private school.
Going through line-by-line it again seemed that all he wants to do is shirk responsibility back to the people most affected by the coalition’s changes. ‘So much of my leadership is about unleashing your leadership.’ Is there any clearer way of sounding like one of those bosses who allocates everything to his staff then puts his feet up and has ‘another day off’? Another classic was ‘those with money bearing biggest burden’. Really? What the burden of having to find somewhere else to hide their money offshore so they can contribute even less to society? It was all sickening. I honestly feel like he could have walked on stage and said ‘ You did it all! It’s all your fault! And you fix it!’ before announcing that no, he won’t be helping with costs, then laughing, jumping in a plane and going skiing. I guess that would have just been a bit too unsubtle and made sure that all those thousands of idiots that are still going to keep this government in aren’t completely brainwashed by his X-Factor style intro video and One Show quality jokes. No, thanks to today they’ll still be more concerned about where Samantha Cameron got her jumper from. The answer is: your toil, hard work, and tax payments. And is she grateful? No.
As he left they played the New Radicals ‘You Get What You Give’. Appropriate considering Cameron has a cabinet of bigoted, bumbling arseholes and a country in ruin. His fault. Not ours.