All Mine

I’m trying to watch the Chilean miners rescue as I type this, so apologies if it goes off on odd tangents at times. They are currently winching out the diabetic one and I feel some sort of affiliation with this man. Once when I went to Pendarren on a school trip, I had to go caving and in front of me, a fat girl got stuck in a small tunnel called ‘The Letterbox’. I had at least five minutes of sheer panic that I would die in a cave in a Wales because of someone’s poor eating habits and that with my diabetes I probably wouldn’t have survived a week. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like to be stuck down a mine for that long. Well I can. I reckon it was uncomfortable. Dark as well. Possibly damp too. Maybe full of monsters. Ok, not the latter. But I’ve seen the Descent, so you never know. Well either way, I’m proud of yet another diabetic proving we are formidable people, and once again proving that the diabetic in Con Air let us all down. ‘Oh I can’t survive without my insulin for a few days…’ Bullshit you can’t. One man survived the entirety of World War 2 without insulin and just ate mostly cucumber. Then after all the crying the diabetic finally gets his insulin and gets shot. Idiot. Well, well done Jose Ojeda for bringing it back.

Its an amazing event. Much like previous series of Big Brother, I hadn’t paid a lot of attention to the story of them all being trapped down there until these last few weeks. Not because I’m cold and heartless, no. Just because I was in Edinburgh when it happened and occasionally would grab a few glimpses of a paper, but overall had other things to think about. Then, when it emerged that they would be rescued, suddenly I became a tad obsessed with reading about their constant excellent morale and determination. Its one of those amazing tales of human endurance that will no doubt get cocked all over by a US TV or Film company where Antonia Banderas, Gael Garcia Bernal and whoever else they can find that can pass for a Chilean – possibly Angelina Jolie – play all the miners with horrible speeches about how they have to be strong for the people of America. Or something. The final scene will have them emerging from a tunnel in Chile but being met by the US president. The young 19 year old one will get a girl, the diabetic one will probably be killed off, and the evil one will be left down their screaming as the bore drill is turned off, as some sort of penance for touching people’s arses in the dark despite cries of ‘stop it, its really not funny anymore.’

I hope this doesn’t happen. I hope we can remember these men as unfortunate victims of a terrible mishap and as heroes for pulling through it in the way they did. I hope we can see them as perfect examples of humanity, in opposition to everything David Cameron is doing to ensure people over here suffer as much as possible. I hope that when number 32 is pulled out, he doesn’t deny that there were ever 33 of them, and does a burp that tastes of human.

I was going to type about getting new photos done today, but it seems that is just miner in comparison. BOOM! Ha! Sorry.