A Slice of Serious Pie

A fairly seriousish blog today. Not sure what’s happened but see it as reading a page in the Sunday Times supplement or somesuch and we’ll all get by. If its too serious at any point, then please just imagine a penguin with a small woolly hat on bopping left and right. There. That will get you through.


Now, I’m not going to pretend that I’ve been following politics at all closely lately. I could try and pretend but within minutes I’d be either making policies that didn’t exist such as the ‘reconstitution of the mountain goat in Lime Regis’ or something, or I’d just make panicky noises and run away. In fact since Edinburgh fever hit around June time I pretty much switched my mind away from trying to figure out all the many ways the coalition were screwing Britain sideways and instead focused my mind on other matters. Now, post August, trying to catch up on it all, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was struggling to maintain interest in any of it. Ignorant I know, and I’m not pleased with myself about it, but for some reason as I glance over comments about the UK needing a ‘radical overhaul’ and then it being followed by various different ways the lower classes will be worse off, I just switch off hoping that my ignorance might mean some sort of bliss and I can dwell in a happy land of stupidity. Essentially I have become one of the people I loathe for their contentment at knowing nothing about the world. So, in the last few days I’ve tried to keep an eye on the whole Labour leadership contest, with an actual element of interest to know who’ll be taking on the society destroying double act of Cameron and Clegg.

I don’t know how the leadership thing worked. I assume it was to do with audience text voting as everything else is, or perhaps they had to joust each other, or maybe all names went in a hat. I just don’t know. Either way it appears Ed Milliband has won, and that means he gets to have more potatoes at Christmas than David or something. I’m not sure how I feel about Ed being the new leader. He seems to be a good speaker, have a determined view of where he’d like to take the party and he’s far less creepy looking than David who I’m fairly sure, along with George Osbourne, is the reason David Icke believes in lizard people. What annoys me already about Ed however, is his quickness to discard the idea that under him the party will lurch to the left. I’m not saying he should adopt a strong Communist stand point and oppose Cameregg / Cleggaron with Stalinesque regime tactics whereby we reduce the deficit by executing a bunch of criminals till there’s more dosh to go round. No, I don’t expect or hope for far left extremist views, but for a man who’s father was a revered Marxist and who at one time, was an intern under the great Tony Benn, you’d hope he’d be proud of having left wing views and provide a party who actually offer something different to the Tories. There seems to be some fear that if we are allowed to call him ‘Red Ed’ that society will back away, but if anything, his insistence that he is not like that, makes me further worry that once again, another posh Oxford boy will be throwing the same shit at the same wall as the other team leaving us disillusioned and bored with our government as per usual. He may just be playing his cards very carefully which I respect, and I like his backing of the unions, so I hope he proves me wrong. Time will only tell, and no doubt I’ll not read the papers for several weeks again anyway and get all confused. Oh to be more receptive to political banter. On day Douieb, one day.


After the show yesterday I encountered a very weeny Essex lady who insisted I had been the funniest on the bill. Now, I’m not one to blow my own trumpet, or in fact, anyone else’s trumpet. I’m hugely unmusical. It would just make a raspberry noise and there’d be more saliva than notes. What I mean is, I hate saying that people have said I’ve done well for fear I sound like an arrogant twazzock, but I tell you this because whilst her compliments were lovely, she followed it up by saying that she’d never been to comedy before and that I should ‘totally be on that TV program, you know the one, you should be on The Inbetweeners. I love that show,’ before then telling me all the other telly shows I should be on and how I should play the big theatre near where she lives. Now, like I said, she was very sweet, but a part of me couldn’t help but sigh inside at her low level of understanding of the comedy world. This implausible idea that the only reason I’m not all over the telly is because I don’t want to be or hadn’t thought of it. I wish that were the case, I really do. Admittedly, I’d feel like a complete tool if, after doing comedy for 7 years I needed an audience member to point it out to me. ‘Oh yeah telly, of course! Right I’ll just go and have my own sitcom now then. Easy as pie.’ This I realise, is hugely unfair to the lady and by simply manifesting my own bitterness, I shouldn’t be disregarding her niceties.

Saying that, she was with a man who told me he wanted to fight me because I’d insulted Middlesborough. He then told me it was joke. Then he said it wasn’t. He kept this toing an froing right till the end of the night when he came to speak to me, was all friendly then told me not to go to the ‘Boro as he’d be waiting. I genuinely felt a tad worried. He then laughed and said he was only kidding. At no point was it ever funny. I long to understand how threatening someone is the funniest thing ever. Perhaps if I want to get on the Inbetweeners I need to carry around a knife, tell people I’m going to cut them, then tell them it was all a giggle. Maybe that’s what I’m missing out on.


The people that dressed up at Bestival as the Yip Yip aliens left a nice comment on my Bestival blog from a few weeks back saying that the were the wearers of such awesome costumes. They’ve sent me an FB link to a pic to prove it, but I can’t access it. So this here really, is just a quick note to say to those people, that if you read this blog again, damn well done, and please post the link again to somewhere I can actually see the pics.