The Only Tiernan


Just been to collect my new insulin pump. I’m not being trained in how to use it till Monday but I’ve picked it up early to look at it, figure out its alien technology and occasionally run around with it next to me ear so I can pretend I’m talking to someone important whilst on a mission. There is a high chance I may break it by Monday and then I won’t be allowed a new one. The machine itself is tiny but seems to come with loads of bits pieces. My hope, not helped by the name, is that by pressing a button it will assemble itself with all the parts to become like that Transformer that was made of other Transformers and then could kick major arse. With any hope I will walk away on Monday knowing that I could defeat Megatron with ease. Like I said, there is a high chance it will be broken by Monday.


On Monday – and I meant to type about this yesterday but forgot – I received a Twitter notification to say I was being followed by Tiernan Douieb. It wasn’t me of course, it was a troll account where they had taken my name, profile details and stuck them under a random username. But for a second, a slight second, I had just hoped that somewhere out there, was another Tiernan Douieb. I should probably just be pleased that someone’s wanted to fraud my name. Some people said that is a sign of growing fame. However, while I’d love to believe it could be, its a bloody stupid name to fraud as everyone would be pretty sure its not me.

If only it was another Tiernan Douieb. Sometimes I feel like Tigger in the Tigger Movie – which by the way is the saddest movie of all time. Well except Up. No others like me, no one else to be a Tiernan Douieb with. Sure my friends may occasionally pretend to be called Tiernan Douieb in a feeble attempt to make me feel welcomed, but if anything, it’s just mocking. I was dreaming of someone I could sit down with and discuss how annoying it is that all letters addressed to us are misspelled or how long it takes to explain to people in call centres.

Within a matter of minutes the account had been suspended thanks to my awesome followers reporting it. Take that other Tiernan Douieb. There can be only one.

I will miss you. Sniff.


Last night at a Fat Tuesday special we had Kevin Eldon and Tara Flynn. Firstly let me say that Tara’s show was just excellent. Very very funny songs, performed brilliantly and I couldn’t recommend you go and see it in Edinburgh highly enough. Then there was Kevin’s show. I have written before about Kevin Eldon on this blog and how I’m pretty much a huge fan of everything he’s ever done. Well, except maybe Hyperdrive. But other than that, everything. When he first performed at Fat Tuesday for our 5th birthday special I was a bit of a gibbering idiot meeting him and tried my best to form a coherent conversation with him. He was extremely friendly, which made it all a tad easier. Last night he arrived and looked very nervous. I hadn’t realised it was his very first preview of his first solo show and it was clearly something he’s been apprehensive about. I found this rather comforting in a way. Knowing how myself and many others are working hard on their Edinburgh shows and the fear of all this hard work going wrong, it was nice to know that it happens to the people I admire too.

It was, to say the least, superb. Which, considering it was his first preview of his first show, both very impressive and also hugely annoying. My first preview was cack. Damn him and his exceptionally talented and very funny ways. Much like Tara’s, I suggest you book your tickets to see him at the Fringe asap. Just excellent. Ta to everyone who came along.

We still have tickets left for tonight’s Fat Tuesday if you’d like to see the excellent line-up of two award winning comedians Pippa Evans and Jack Whitehall. And you do. You really do. Tix are on sale here:


After yesterday’s moan about my preview on Sunday, the put up this rather lovely review. Its amazing how shallow I am, but it did indeed make me feel heaps better about it all. Of course, they just said I was nice and not funny, but now I’m just being picky. Read it here: