Tiernan Talks Back

Sometimes you lot post comments on this blog. Not always but sometimes. Whenever those sometimes are, your comments appear to contain questions, loads and loads of bloody question about this and that and something I’ve written and how do you vote for me in the upcoming elections, and what is the chemical equation for hellfunksupercoolness and other things. You’re like some sort of horde of Magnus Magnussons drinking Magners and holding Magnets. Well today people Tiernan Talks Back. Yeah. I’ve even written it in capitals so it sounds like a show that may end up being on Channel 5. However rather than me answering your questions, that show would involve people telling me to do things and me replying with really sarcy comments, the sort that were I in school, would get me detention. They would then say ‘How dare you talk back to me like that?’ at which point the jingle would play, lots of dancers would come out and I’d serenade the crowd with a funk tune called ‘Tiernan Talks Back.’ I’m already pretty confident that will have no trouble being commissioned.

Right so lets go for this in a backwards order starting with yesterday’s blog comments. These will be dealt with in a sassy cocky style, reminiscent of someone you might work with and hate.

Robin Miller asks ‘ I demand some form of recognition in your Glasgow Blogsplosion… for I got up early I did ;)’

Tiernan Talks Back ‘ yep. Sorry. There you go. You’ve now been mentioned. Happy now scrambled egg face? Except you weren’t mentioned in the blogsplosion as I can’t go back in time and fix that (although I could edit the blog but I won’t so there). So you won’t ever be happy really. Ha! (PS was ace to catch up).’

Knox Overstreet asks far too many questions including ‘ Who won the air race?’

Tiernan Talks Back ‘stupidy Firman did. He persuaded everyone on the plane to rock forward and despite only a 15 minute headstart, beat me by a whole 20 minutes. I hate wizards.’

She also asks ‘ when do London get one of your progress gigs?’

TTB ‘ April 19th. I’m not telling you where or what time. You will have to roam the streets knocking on doors till you find it.’

And finally she asks ‘ when people spontaneously combust, what happens to all their bits?’

TTB ‘ they are exploded separately during spontaneous com-bits-tion.’

From my blog ‘Ignore This Blog pt 2’ a few days ago Tainted Harmony asks ‘ oooo. Did you have to slide down a water slide to pay for it? ‘

TTB ‘ No. The water slide was removed once they worked out that they could only put 100ml of water on it for security reasons and so people were just getting stuck.’

From the note ‘Happy Birthday Fat Tuesday!’ Sarah Bennetto asks ‘where have all the years gone?’

TTB ‘ Mick Hucknall has them. He keeps them for himself in small jars in a large cupboard. That’s what he says in ‘Holding Back The Years’ anyway.

That’s all the questions from the last week or so. If you have anymore, please feel free to ask and ‘Tiernan Talks Back’ shall become a recurring feature.