Bin There, Done That

This blog is going to be super quick because I am getting lunch bought for me. Yes, that’s right, someone is willingly putting food in me. I like it when this happens. Little do they know what they are doing. As long as they don’t spill water on me or feed me after midnight its fine, but its only a matter of time before they slip up and such a thing happens. Then all hell will break loose and I’ll be covered in water and full of grub at a late time of night. I’m staying with Layla’s brother and his family and they do nice things like feed me and let me stay for free which is all a bit good. I arrived here last night with only twenty minutes of Question Time left and walked in on them all sitting comfortably watching Prick Griffin be a total prat. At first I was a little bit perturbed as Layla’s sister in law was wearing a brown face mask and there was a good 30 seconds of my brain getting mixed messages about someone who appeared blacked up while watching the BNP on telly. In an odd way it was either hugely supportive of them or a really confused way of being anti-racist while still being racist. Luckily it was neither and it was just a face mask. Phew. Still glorious to see the BNP get a Christmas Present as it was so called. If that’s a present then its the one you open from your Nan that you really don’t want and makes you vomit to look at. Well done Prick you’ve made yourself look even more of an obnoxious bastard than you already were. Turns out it was a great tactic for QT to have him on though. They had 6 million more viewers than they usually do. I suggest they get more racists on and then some war criminals and mass murderers. Hopefully Kim Jong Ill will be on the Llandudno edition with John Sargent next week.

Last night’s gig was all lovely as usual, despite some bloke from the program Waterloo Road sitting in the front row and pretending he was a binman. I had never seen the show and still don’t know what it is. Later it was explained that it’s a show about ‘a school with kids in it’. I mentioned that surely all schools have kids in, so its not that remarkable sounding. This man insisted and to give credit to his acting, did not falter under pretending to be a binmin for any minute, till someone grassed him and he gave in after the interval. I told him it was good training for when the acting falls through and he does actually have to work as a binman. He wasn’t pleased at this, which served him right for being a smug bastard. I was very pleased with my retort, although I was most pleased with something else I’d said on the night that fell on deaf ears. I know I often do this on the blog, just become horribly self-indulgent and write jokes that I feel should have worked. Its a disgustingly arrogant pat on the back I know, and really I should be saying to myself that it fell on deaf ears because it was shit. Still, here it is for you to judge. A girl in the front row said she studied dance. I questioned her on this for a bit then asked what it is she wants to do with her degree. She said teacher. Then I said (drum roll please) is that ‘a dance teacher, or just a normal teacher thats very swift at dodging projectiles from the children?’ Eh? Eh? Eh? Well? Eh? Yeah there was a reason it got nothing. Sigh.

I was going to write about the possible consequences of a world without Jongleurs and title this blog ‘Gonegleurs?’ which I was very pleased with. However if lunch had a phone it’d be calling me. It wouldn’t be able to say much due its lack of mouth but I would know it needed me. More thoughts on things tomorrow.