Flashbacks from Edinburgh

I have to fly to Edinburgh in a couple of hours. It doesn’t feel quite right going back this soon after the festival. Its feels a bit like returning to the battlefield after having been flown out of there in the nick of time. I’m half expecting to see the legless remains of another comic I know, or the dog tags of a street performer just lying in the streets. Whether these things are there or not, it will be weird, that’s for sure. I think what makes it worse for me is I feel I haven’t really been home very much. Considering last time I went away to Edinburgh I came home to find several parts of our flat no longer working, I am worried that its slowly giving up on me. At least its only a brief trip. I’m flying straight there this afternoon, doing the show tonight and then flying back in the early early hours tomorrow. I was given the option of leaving at the sensible 4pm flight tomorrow of the 8.55am one, and wanting to get home I chose the latter. I am slowly realising how much I hate myself for doing this. Still my plan is just to sit in my hotel room and write until the show, do it, then head straight back to be a hermit and write more before passing out. What this actually means is I will spend ages tweeting Patrick Swayze and Keith Floyd gags until I pass out with tiredness. While its all a bit sad that those two celebs have died today, we must all realise that this is 2 minutes of grace for all comedians everywhere. Celebrity double death days are also famed for being comedic ingenious days. I look forward to the rush of terrible gags at Floyd and Swayze’s expense. The venue I’m doing tonight is Edinburgh University, during their freshers’ week. I have a feeling none of them will be old enough to know who either of those two celebrities are and so my plan on using the tragedy of someone for a few giggles is rightfully dispersed.

I used to really love University gigs, but its dawning on me more and more that they are all getting a lot younger and I am consistantly getting older. Once me and them student types had bloody loads in common – unclean flats, pilfering of tax payers, eating food that was several days past its best before date etc but now I can’t help but feel we know nothing of each others lives. I mean, how often do they sleep in every day? Or sit around for hours pretending to do work but actually doing nothing? Or drink too much so that they lose their voice? I bet they never do that….what? Oh. Still don’t really know what bits of my Edinburgh show to put into a set at the moment, so have a feeling that tonight will be a tad shoddy, hence the writing beforehand. The voice is also still a bit weak so no doing that 15 minutes on shouting that I usually do. I don’t have a bit on shouting. I wish I did. Maybe I’ll write some, athough I’m not sure just how it would project to the crowd. Arf. Right, I’ll stop there.

Finally watch the Derren Brown show from Friday and I think he’s a big bag of liar liar pants on fire. He either did rig it or has done something else equally devious and won’t let us know till the end of all the Events series, or ever. Anyways, as sent over by webmaster James Hingley, if you haven’t seen this, have a look:


I repeat, Derren is a witch.