Edinburgh Day 22 – The Return Of The Wall

Hello again wall. Nice to see you once more. Thanks for encouraging me to drink all the whisky last night after a chat with Pete Johansson about what the point of it all really is. I was feeling relatively happy until enough people told me they were feeling shit about everything then I started to wonder if I should be. I assumed I probably should be so resulted in a boozy mess which I am now regretting. Oddly I am not to miserable about anything now, except me hangover and that my eyes hurt looking at the computer. I’m not sure if this is a clever diversion tactic to avoid moaning about Edinburgh, or if I wasn’t that bothered by Edinburgh in the first place and really shouldn’t have drunk booze. It does feel like everyone’s had enough of it all now. It really does go on for ever, and I can’t say I’m unhappy that I only have 7 solo shows left. As well as those I have only 5 other gigs to do this week which is a nicely small amount and after they have all finished I will be doing a little dance of happiness before falling asleep until February when I will decided doing Edinburgh again is probably a good idea. Everyone I speak to has got the Ed blues this week. The nominations will be announced very soon which will mean about 8 people get very happy again and everyone else gets more miserable that its not them. Reviews are slowing down a bit so there is less of that to be annoyed at. All that’s left is general wondering why on Earth we’ve done it again. I’m slowly starting to wonder if the edfringe people should employ professional therapists and lovely people to just wander around the festival about now giving out hugs and general words of encouragement. People on marathon’s get that. And a blanket. In fact that’s what I want when I walk offstage at Comedy 4 Kids on Sunday. Can someone please run up and cover me in one of those foil blankets?

All my shows yesterday were a tad weird which doesn’t help either. Well not all. Mervyn Stutter’s Pick Of The Fringe was amazing. That was my first show, to a lovely sold out audience at the Hullabaloo tent. I did just five minutes, then Mervyn interviewed me while I stood on a box, on account of his rather tall height. Much fun. This fun then died a bit with all the other shows. I think it should be par for the course that all shows in the last week are awesome so you enjoy things a bit more. In my show only the right hand side of the room enjoyed it and the left hand side didn’t. Very odd indeed. I was worried that the left hand side of my body had ‘I Hate You’ in big letters written down it. Following that was an ok but very empty Comedy 4 Kids. The show was helped along by brothers Augusto and Teadoro who if they ruled the world, want to behead all the adults. I explained to them that this wasn’t very nice and also when they hit 18 they might want to reconsider that as they won’t be able to think it through after.

I then did the Pink Bus which is a lovely gig, but sadly only 7 people attended last night. One of them was a Facebook friend I haven’t met before, Emma, which was nice. Felt a bit bad not doing a proper show for them but it felt a bit odd just doing a set so I decided to have a chat. They were all lovely and I think it was ok, but it was definitely the closest I’ve felt to being that weirdo on the night bus. This was then followed by some booze and general misery chat with Pete and Courtney, mostly because some Guardian twat said Pete may get more punters if he was handsome and young like Jack Whitehall. And maybe more people would respect journalists if they didn’t write stupid bloody things like that. I do wonder if the wall would even occur were all journalists a little bit better at what they write and less desperate to hammer out articles about any old shit. After shouting a lot about that I headed to Fordy’s Lock In. I’ve heard lovely things about this gig and while I enjoyed bantering with Stephen Carlin, Mick Sergent (aka Lee Fenwick) and Matt Forde, the audience did not seem to enjoy it half as much which was a shame. This led me to drink all the booze given to me even quicker, followed by further booze at the Loft Bar and my drunken brain telling me it was a good idea to go home without saying goodbye to anyone and staggering off about 3.30am.

My parents arrive today. This is very well timed as it means the herald the arrival of some hugs, proper food, (mostly) sensible chatter and probably at least one moment when my Dad reminds me I should have got a PGCE just in case. I won’t enjoy the last bit. After today only 10 shows overall to do! Hooray!