Good Impression(s)

I’ve eaten a whole small pot of Saint Agur Creamy Blue Cheese in just two days flat. I’m sure this is not good for anyone but I have find myself unwittingly addicted to it. I never used to like blue cheese. Something to do with the fact that I throw other mouldy foods away and yet here is food willingly covered in mould and we are supposed to eat it. It goes against everything you know. But somehow, as my tastes have got more sophisticated or numbed with age, I really bloody like it. I still can’t work out what happens to it when it goes off. Does it become normal cheese? Same with sour cream. When that goes off does it just taste less sour? So many questions so little care for any of the answers. I ate my cheese on toast this morning in memory of the fourth anniversary of 7/7. I didn’t but I feel its important to pretend I did something. I remember that day rather well. Mostly because I caught the tube about 10 minutes before the Piccadilly one that exploded, and then also because I was working at Ed Excel in Holborn and had to walk all the home. It was an eerily odd day. My preferred memory though is that of about 3 months later when I was getting off the tube at Kings Cross. Suddenly the alarm went off and over the tannoy a voice told everyone to evacuate the station immediately. There were some American tourists who panicked and ran up the escalators faster than their stubby legs would carry them. Meanwhile all the Londoners just grumbled a bit and slowly walked up. As they did I heard several voices saying things like ‘bloody tubes’ and ‘going to be late for work again! Grumble grumble’. That was when I knew that terrorism would never defeat Londoners’ selfish pessimism and general misery. So now four years later it appears that no one is scared of public transport anymore. That’s a shame really as I think the Leicester Square Party Bus is terrifying. Perhaps as a tribute to those who tragically lost their lives on 7/7 we should push over the party bus and call them all insensitive dicks. I would like that.

I managed to do my 3 minutes just fine and dandy last night. If anything it went much better than I expected which was nice as it was all filmed and will at some point be on the Chortle website. I honestly thought I would mess it up, mostly because I had to follow Anil Desai who did 52 very good and very funny impressions in his time slot. Like a lot of acts I hate following any variety performance that does well. Its not easy walking onstage after someone has done something very talented only for you to then go ‘so I’ll just talk for bit’. You tend to get expectant stares wondering why you haven’t yet pulled a parrot out of your ear or burst into showtune versions of the soundtrack to Full Metal Jacket. I debated going on and doing one of the five impressions I can actually do (Kermit the Frog, Marlon Brando, Cartman, Tony Law, Rhod Gilbert) but luckily I decided against it. It was lucky because my impressions are shit and also because it wasn’t necessary. I just did my 3 minutes with an added gag about snizzle thanks to audience input. Snizzle according to a geography student in the audience, is the term for when it drizzle and sleets at the same time. I quipped that that word had changed, for me, the meaning of many Snoop Dogg tracks. That seemed to work. So felt rather pleased with myself after all that and hopefully it means at least one extra person will come along to my Edinburgh show. The whole night was very very good. There were only one or two acts that didn’t do as well as everyone else, but generally it was very strong. There really were a crap load of comedians and industry in the room at any one time. Had someone decided to set fire to the Leicester Square Theatre last night they would have taken out at least 40% of the UK circuit. Its a shame I hadn’t thought of it really as it would’ve meant I’d have got a lot more gigs in the aftermath. Maybe its something to consider for next time.

Some small admin points to finish today’s blogness:

1) Its Fat Tuesday tonight with Paul Sinha and Reg Hunter, two of my favourite acts. I doubt it will be anything less than brilliant. You should come along. There are still tickets left:

2) Here are my Summer Fun Junkie Mixes. I’ve posted them up to send to a friend so thought you might like them too. You might also not like them. I like them though and that’s why I made them. Have a listen:

Summer Fun Junkie Mix –

Summer Fun Junkie Chill Out Mix –

3) Finally I’ve got my last two out of London previews before Edinburgh this week. First up is this Thursday at The Black Horse near Leicester.

Website doesn’t have the listing up yet but it will be me and very funny Jason Cook. Show starts at 8pm and it only seats about 30 so get there early.

Then next Monday I am previewing with the excellent Pete Firman in Easglescliffe at the lovely Hilarity Bites:

If you live near any of those places please do come along. What do you mean you don’t so you won’t? Aren’t you the same person who also doesn’t want to listen to my music downloads? Someone’s miserable today. I think what you should do is board the Party Bus. (tee hee)