Not In My Name

Well that’s it. Our country is officially full of dicks. Late last night my distant French relation Joanne Douieb FB messaged me saying she hoped I had voted in the European elections. In my response I felt I had to apologise for how shit it was that we would be sending two BNP members to the council. I don’t want to be held in anyway responsible for the fact that smug racist prick Griffin will have any kind of say in the EU. I hope that his xenophobic ways will stop him from travelling to any meetings that happen abroad, due to the areas being ‘full of foreigners’. Its a possibility, unless they decide to hold meetings in Magaluf. Also I can’t see him attending meetings in the UK because representatives from the rest of Europe will be there and he will think they are just foreigners ‘who come over ‘ere’. Fingers crossed his stupidity and ignorance works against him. What happened though? I mean, really how on Earth did the public get so stupid that that could happen? Its a combination of idiots who didn’t vote, allowing the BNP’s votes to count and the idiots who decided that our right wing New Labour government had fucked things up enough, so lets vote in the even more right wing Tories, UKIP or the fascist BNP. Sorry, I realise this blog isn’t particularly funny today but its the first time in ages I have woken up feeling angry with the world. If you get a moment, please do sign this:

It probably won’t do amazing good as most BNP voters can’t read, but I think its very important everyone signs it. I uploaded a photo last night and spent far too long trying to write ‘Not In My Name’ backwards on some post-its just for the webcam pic. Thanks to my incredibly long day, my brain really couldn’t figure it out and my table is adorned with scribbled out post-its as though someone has repeatedly forgotten to buy milk. It was a very long journey home in the end only made better by the further loveliness of Dave at CBBC arranging a cab to meet me at Victoria and take me home. It was paid for on account, which means if you have paid your licence fee this year thanks for the lift home. I will never complain about licence fee costs again. What I might do however is write in to the Daily Mail and tell them what happened just so that some racist will get so angry they pop a cranial vein and die. We can but hope.

Can’t blog much today as I am prepping for the almighty Twitter Comedy Night that will take place this evening, online at 8pm (BST). Its now been covered in pretty much every national newspaper with the Guardian Guide on Saturday and now the Metro today. I didn’t really intend for it to get quite so big, and while its lovely that it has, it does mean I am a bit nervous. Its stupid to be nervy about a gig where I won’t even see the punters. Its not like I’m at risk of being punched by a stag-do member who’s pissed of his nut. If I do make someone angry the worst I suppose they could do is send me a virus, but even then I have a mac so I’m probably safe. Thanks Steve Jobs, you probably haven’t realised it, but you are the pioneer of online heckle protection.

If you don’t know already, all details are at and it will either be an amazing success or a terrible mess.