No Time For Blog, Dr Jones

Not a lot of time today for blogging. Many things must be done, including, if I have time, storming Barclays Bank and, using their own free biros, stabbing every member of staff in the eyes. I have just had conversation with ‘Raj’ who managed to not answer any of my questions, refuse to help me and then add a whopping great charge to the whopping great charge they had already given me. I am thinking that if I gather an army of all angry Barclays customers, then we can ‘whopping great charge’ into them. See how they like it. They won’t. I have a genuine fear that my credit rating has gone from being a U to an 18 within days. I like to think that credit ratings are the same as film ratings. Previously, mine was suitable for everyone, but now when I check it its full of scenes that may be unsuitable for some viewers and vast amounts of bad language.

Quick gig report: Last night was very fun but stupidly far away. A lovely room in a venue called the Old Post Office, where against my beliefs, the audience member’s ticket prices did not vary depending on their size and weight. Perfectly sized and shaped, the only issue was that is was so hot it was as though we were gigging in a sauna, just without all the semi-naked people. Had they been semi-naked they would have all been a lot cooler, but I would have found it far harder to play. You can’t have both. The crowd were superb though and provided much fun banter. A farmer who, when I asked what his speciality was, he said ‘wheat, horses and rape.’ Quality. There was also a man who for a living holds reptile and snake parties for kids. He has over 45 different animals ranging from a chinchilla and large South American rat to an 8ft Boa Constrictor. He is clearly a genius and also a man I would never ever let hold a kids party. I expect there are many missing children out there and one very happy snake.

Right must do things. Sorry if you feel there is a lack of blog. Why not fill in this blank space with some of your own blog for today. You can use crayons or pen, or even draw a picture about what you did on the weekend. Make sure you don’t go outside the lines and use your best joined up writing. I will be marking each entry individually and giving you grades at the end of the week:

Time’s up. Hope you had fun. Proper blog tomorrow!