A Walk In The Park

Me and Layla went for a walk in Finsbury Park yesterday afternoon. People are often saying things are as easy as ‘a walk in the park’ and they are right, it was pretty easy. There were no giant obstacles, flames or anti-walk paint. Nothing that would create any sort of difficulty whatsoever. I an imagine taking a walk in some parks isn’t easy. Central Park at midnight probably isn’t that easy. I’ve seen films and tv. In those films and tv what I’ve seen people get chased, stabbed and get stuck in horrific pointless conversation with ‘friends’ in Central Park. Those things aren’t easy. Sunday morning is also meant to be easy. I’ve had many Sunday morning’s where I’ve been very hungover. They were not easy, they were very very tough. I’ve also eaten eggs that were ‘over-easy’, they seemed no easier than normal. I felt cheated.

Finsbury Park is an odd place. Its quite a lovely big park, with some nice big green bits and some ducks and other staple park items, like trees and one of those wooden huts that no one knows what it contains. It is also surrounded by busy busy roads which you can see from where ever you are, leaving you feeling a little bit like you’re trapped on a giant grassy roundabout. There is also, in the middle of the big grassy nice bit, a big trashy funfair. You know the sort that blare out music no one likes at very high levels and where children probably go missing from at a far from average rate. What I like in large parks is the ability to pretend I am no longer in London and just lie there in the quiet. The road and funfair limit how much I can do this, so I just pretend I’m lying in a field just off the M1 while some dick nearby has parked in a laybay and is playing his stereo too loud, while going on a waltzer and stealing children.

It was fairly full of people by the time we arrived. All the sorts of usual sunny day park culprits. Some people being all mental and going jogging; some of the regular old fashioned tramps that chase imaginary butterflies with their hands; some people clearly bunking off work and looking very pleased and guilty at the same time; that woman who is determined to lie in the sun until she is a shade of blood red and definitely has cancer; the Finsbury Park local rudeboys and girls who insist on wearing hoodies to look cool, but the sweatiness of their faces shows their are far from cool in any temperate way. As well as all these lovely people, there was one group of about 20 very odd ones opposite our sitting place. They weren’t odd in a ‘wearing the skin of dead pets odd’ more in that kooky and rather lovely way. Several of them were just sitting, that wasn’t odd at all. What was odd, was that they were watching, and cheering on the non-sitters while they played their game of football. Again, might not seem too odd, except that….THEY DIDN’T HAVE A FOOTBALL. No football whatsoever. Not even a substitute like a tennis ball or cauliflower or hamster ball. Nothing. They were entirely miming a whole game of football. And they did it very well too. There were dives, headers and some very good saves and what made it all quite exciting is that they were very good at mime, so it looked like there could’ve just been a ball there. In fact there is part of me that worries there was a ball there and I’m losing my eye sight, or as someone on Twitter suggested, it could have been a photo shoot for spot the ball. Perhaps the credit crunch has hit people harder than I thought. If that’s true then I hope that extends to premier league games. I’d watch a lot more football if players were played thousands to mime really well. Whatever it was, it was intriguing and quite lovely. I’m really not sure which side won in the end, I don’t know if they mimed the score system.

Today is another beautiful sunny day where once again I will be relegated to sitting indoors and doing some work for my preview on Monday. I haven’t done any work on it since Bristol and its highly likely I now hate everything about it and will need to rewrite loads, so its best I start inside and do that. My only other option is to go outside and get sunburnt really quickly. I suppose I could go to the park and mime doing it. Then off to Camberley tonight for some polite banter with a crowd that will probably be over polite in a venue that is unlikely to be suitable for comedy. If they don’t enjoy it I’ll just mime the gig for them. Now I’m going to mime the rest of the blog while miming eating my breakfast. So far, I think you’ll agree, I’m doing rather well.

PS I posted this on Twitter last night but its still making me laugh. I popped to my parents house last night and my mum found my grandma’s old knitting book, with some truly hilarious pics in it. I think the guy looks a little bit like after the photo shoot he shot a lot of kids in a high school. Look at his eyes. Terrifying:

http://yfrog.com/0wzxaj – Scary manaclava

http://yfrog.com/0uywwj – Hee hee hee