Crawling and Begging

Just a quick blog today. Have to race off and host the Camden Crawl this afternoon before then heading to Bedford for a gig there. It shall be a busy day and one that contains a rather mental afternoon. I’m really not sure what to expect. I can only assume its called the Camden Crawl because its the only mode of transport the punters have after severe amounts of booze. Its certainly the only way Winehouse, Doherty and other Camden residents move from place to place. In fact thinking about it Camden should just have a series of travelators all over its pavements to allow movement in the area rather than static crawling. Of course were some of its individuals to crawl on the travelators all manner of piercings would get stuck in it and there would be all sorts of hell. I think I should probably not suggest this later.

This afternoon’s venture goes on for four hours with me compereing inbetween each act. I’m fairly sure I will get tired and run out of things to talk about just 30 mins in. If it all goes wrong I will link the crowd by their piercings and chain them to the bar before running away. I might do that anyway, it sounds like a lot of fun.

Didn’t do an awful lot yesterday. Any free time I get is used pretending to work on my Edinburgh show. I have a preview this Sunday and I’ve changed some things since the last time I did it, but I don’t remember the changed bits and not all of them are funny. What I’m saying is, Sunday might be shit. Its a work in progress which means its allowed to be a bit shit, but people are paying to come along so it can’t be that bad or I’ll feel guilty. May have to do what I did last time and just tell some old jokes at the end to give them their moneys worth. Either that or I will chain them all to the bar by their piercings and run away. I’m liking this as a solution to most things.

My shameless begging for money towards Edinburgh has so far gained me £77.11 which is lovely. You can always depend on the kindness of strangers. I say strangers, but I know them all which sort of renders the saying useless. I feel terrible asking people for dosh because I’ve chosen to go to Edinburgh. To rectify this I gave two marathon runners donations towards Sunday even though its their choice to run. Its a similar thing to mine except they give their money to charity and do something healthy, whereas I will drink for a month and do a show to boost my own career. God I’m a selfish prick. Its nice people help me to be a selfish prick. If they didn’t I honestly don’t know how I could go this year. Even with £77.11 I still need a further £4k. Anyone have that lying around?

I will stop going on about this for a week or so, but for now here are the links to the donations page and the facebook group:

Right, proper blog tomorrow where you will be able to read about what happened at the Camden Crawl. That’s if i survive after attempting to chain up all the audience’s piercings. I’m slighty scared my watch will get caught and I will be trapped there as well. If no blogs happens tomorrow can someone meet me at the Oxford Arms on Jamestown Road with a large pair of metal cutters? Thanks.