Just Chipper

I got woken up this morning earlier than I wanted to by some men putting a tree into a wood chipper outside my house. People that do these jobs never seem to care about those members of society (i.e me) who work at night and didn’t get to sleep till 3am last night. Admittedly it was my night off and I watched two episodes of 24 back to back which got me so hyper I had to play Streetfighter 4 for 3 hours, but that’s not the point. In fact it renders the point useless, but I don’t care I am still angry that I wanted at least 30 mins more sleep and couldn’t because of loud wood destroying noise. I don’t mind the noise now I’m awake. There is something quite cool about wood chippers. I’ve seen Fargo, I know what they can do. I’m slightly tempted to go outside and give them books, mugs and various other household items I am not fond of just to watch them go in. I don’t think they’d let me but they woke me up so I’m owed. I am slightly worried that there really aren’t any trees on our road and yet they have now been chipping for two hours. I’m a bit terrified they are just getting all plants, road signs, pets and passers by in a chipping frenzy. Thats what I’d do. Thats why I’m not allowed to work as a wood chipper. Or anything else involving dangerous items. Its a wonder I don’t have to use a plastic fork when at home. 

It was nearly lovely having a night off yesterday. Both my lunches were nice. I didn’t actually eat twice, just once followed by coffee which was apparently the most absurd drink the barman had ever been asked for. I looked at the board on which many types of coffee were displayed and asked for a cappuccino. He responded with a big sigh and a tut before walking off and making someone else do it. I couldn’t work out if he was this lazy all the time or if coffee gave him particular grief. Maybe he had had a bet with someone that no one today would order a cappuccino and I had just lost him his house and life savings. I hope its the latter. Although there was a bit of that sigh that reminded me of Costa Coffee man which made it all better. If only everyone was as miserable about serving coffee as Costa man. 

The day was only ruined later when, for the third time, I did the same bit of data entry work for a friend that I have done twice already this week. I occasionally do a little bit work for him because it pays me and it reminds me how shit having a normal job was. I think it makes me enjoy my gigs even more. I didn’t enjoy doing this work three times though as it was the kind of excessively dull data entry that with extended use could easily cause depression and brain damage. You know the sort that just requires putting some digits into some boxes. The computer equivalent of packing boxes. After each time I have hit the ‘SAVE’ button. A button that is meant to do what it says, but clearly doesn’t, wiping everything I have entered. Each time this problem has been fixed I have entered it all over again to find that the ‘SAVE’ button still does not do what it says. If it said ‘NOT A SAVE BUT A STUPID POINTLESS BUTTON THAT WILL MAKE YOU ANGRY’ I would be less inclined to click it. I have found out today that it hasn’t saved again. I’m considering putting the laptop into the wood chipper. 

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