Tiernan Douieb is a stand-up comedian whose Edinburgh Fringe debut, 28 Years Later, is about adulthood, childish imaginings and zombies. Here, Tieran lays out five good – highly amusing – reasons why you shouldn’t miss his one-man offering at the Underbelly.
1) If you don’t, when someone you know who did see it asks you if you saw it, you’ll have to say ‘no’. Then there will be an awkward pause in your conversation which will slowly tear apart your relationship as acquaintances, friends or lovers.
2) Between the hours of 4 and 5pm, the entire city of Edinburgh is sucked within a time rift and spat out at such a velocity that everyone’s life span is cut short by 17 years, and they all develop a bizarre tendency to not be upset by the general state of popular music. The only place that is not affected by the rift is the Delhi Belly at the Underbelly, Cowgate, which just happens to be, by a major coincidence, where my show is on. Your choice.
3) By not seeing my show, several nearly extinct species of animal around the world will cease to exist.
The tragedy is they will die even if you do see my show as the world is a terrible place. However, at least by seeing my show, you will temporarily forget about the Guatemalan goat toad for an hour and instead laugh a lot.
Then when you leave, you will cry again.
4) I have spent far too much money on some large A2 prints that I use for a
one-minute joke. Why not mock my terrible expense-to-laughter ratio? No matter how hard people laugh, it will never be balanced.
5) Because the last person to see my show smells of wee.
Tiernan Douieb: 28 Years is at the Underbelly, 6-30 August (no show 17 August) at 4pm.