10 Questions with… Tiernan Douieb

Tiernan Douieb is a self-confessed big kid; 28 years old and simultaneously growing beard and getting spots, tackling social issues and being scared of zombies. Welcome to his debut Edinburgh show!

What is your show, 28 Years Later, about?
Mostly me, sometimes zombies and one bit about whales.

Why did you decide to do a show about this?
Because I started writing one about everything else ever and it was rubbish and far far too long.

How ready is it?
Readybrek.

If your show was a dog, what kind of dog would it be?
It would be a hotdog. A veggie one though. But one of the veggie ones that if you gave it to a stoic meat eater they wouldn’t know the difference and when they found out would feel a bit stupid. Then the veggie would laugh, but the next day the meat eater would get the shits. Hang on, you won’t get the shits from my show.

Complete this sentence: "If you like _ _ _ _, then you’ll like my show"
"People who like excessive use of _ _ _ _ _ will love my show. There’s a lot of _ _ _ _ in it.*"
*there is no _ _ _ _ in my show. Sorry.

Is the Edinburgh Comedy Award important to you?
Depends on what they make it out of this year. If its gold, then yes, cos you can exchange it for cash. Not that I’m shallow or anything. I’m just shallow.

Which other acts would you recommend this year?
Hamlet act IV. It’s a classic. Comedy wise, the best previews I’ve seen so far have been from Ginger & Black, Tom Craine, Jim Smallman, Tiffany Stevenson, Andrew O’Neill, Richard Herring and Paul Sinha, who’s show is just brilliant.
If Paul doesn’t win something this year the world is a stupid place full of idiots.

What is the most frightening thing about the Edinburgh Festival?
The way that every year thousands of children disappear never to be found again.
The locals speak of a legend of a pipe playing man and a mountain where they are all kept, forced to make Irn Bru.

Any tips on where to get the best pint or pie in Edinburgh?
No. Best breakfast however is City Cafe, as is known by the entire festival. For extra tourism points, head there between 11 and 4 on any given day and you will be able to observe many a pale hungover comic looking at their food as though its the only thing keeping them alive. It usually is too.

Sum up the festival in one word
Festival.