Hitting the Breaks

Occasionally I’ll decide that despite not having done something in a very long time, I’m still clearly able to do it. Similar thinking has in previous years resulted in me falling off bikes, nearly having my fingers sliced off ice skating or letting go of a bowling ball too early and nearly killing someone behind me. Having never learnt that my limitations grow quicker than a sea monkey in water filled with baby bio (to be honest, I reckon this would just kill them but the idea of a giant sea monkey is fun), yesterday I decided to try and dance to drum ‘n’ bass music for the first time in many moons. Any readers of yesterday’s blog will note that I’m a bit full of a cold, and so any sort of dancing was a ridiculous idea, but I had stocked myself up on so much spicy vegetable soup that I decided I would be fine to attend The Correspondents new single launch, lured by the music and even more so by the promise of free cocktails at the venue. I could disinfect the cold from my system, I thought, knowingly.

The Correspondents, if you do not know of the scoundrels, are an awesome electro swing double act consisting of Mr Bruce and Mr Chuckles. Chuckles hits the decks with some beautiful blends of 30’s swing jazz and serious beats, while Bruce, replete in spandex plus fours and tails, provides vocals and insane dancing. They are one of a kind and play the sort of music that it really is impossible not to dance to. I saw them first years ago, as they performed on stage before Lily Allen at Bestival. Lily was ace, but she never quite matched the spectacle of this strange looking man pirouetting and chatting to some heavy beats and jazz fusion. I have craved good drum ‘n’ bass since about 2002 when the Brazillian Movement from DJ Marky started dying off and these guys were the first to do anything since then that actually got me excited. I have tried to enjoy the breaks on many types of music – trance, house, hardcore – quite as much as on d’n’b but its pretty much impossible. The way the fast beat kicks in on good tracks will always send me into a flailing arms and legs dancing frenzy. I have some very good memories of early days at The End or Fabric Live hearing the Scratch Perverts, Metalheadz, Roni Size or the Ganja Kru and dancing away until 6am with seemingly endless energy.

Last night The Correspondents didn’t get on stage till 10pm and by then me and L were already tired. Fail one. There had already been several grumbles about how quickly we’d drunk the free drinks, how many people were there, the people demanding money in the loos just for handing you paper towels (I’m not paying someone money to do something I can do myself!) and one man who was dressed like a twat. So when they got onstage there was a lovely mix of excitement and a constant checking of the watch wondering how long it would be till we could go home having been at the venue since 8. They didn’t disappoint with Mr Bruce dancing his skinny arse off, replete with travelator and some ace new tunes, as well as their brilliant new single. We held out for 45 minutes and I stated that all I was waiting for was one of their more hardcore d’n’b tracks then I could get my fix and we could leave.

It happened, with ‘Rio De Hackney ‘ booming heavy bass around the brick walls of Village Underground, and both me and L went all a bit loopy before breathlessly letting the track finish, us both grabbing our coats and me limping out as my legs hurt and my nose felt blocked with snot. We could hear them continuing to play awesome music as we left, no doubt the night continuing for many more hours. I however, couldn’t handle it anymore and shall sadly add this to the long list of things 30 year old Douieb is now shit at. RIP enjoying Drum n Bass. I shall miss you, but I also like using my body without it hurting. Sigh.

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