Thrown Suck Session

So the laws of Royal succession have changed meaning that sons and daughters of any future monarchs will now have equal right to the throne. A big step for equality? Yes I suppose so. I mean, it seems bananas that that wasn’t the case anyway, but I suppose in the true tradition of me not being happy about anything, I would ask really what difference does this all make? England’s had many Queens on the throne before, our royal family now only appear to be around in order to distract news from terrible things the government are doing (yes conspiracy theory ahoy, but really the timing of the wedding was ludicrous as was the amount of money spent on it in such a time of recession) and so really, what relevance does it have anymore? What would be better would be, as well as this, to tackle equality in the workplace, all the many legislations making it harder for single mums to earn enough to stay alive and maybe to let women join the Bullingdon club. Of course, that would never happen as that’d actually be doing something to make the UK a better place rather than hit headlines by slightly amending an archaic tradition that remains archaic anyway.

The bit I do like though, to be fair, is that future monarchs are now allowed to marry anyone of any faith rather than just Roman Catholic. I have lovely dreams that the next one will fall in love with a Muslim and convert or bestow Buddism across the nation, or Hindu denouncing the Christmas speech overall, instead talking about Hanuman the monkey god and saving us 15 minutes of boredom on an otherwise awesome day. Again, I don’t see this happening. Sadly as it is here we have an opportunity to show how we excel as a secular country, promoting evolution and science and shunning long out of date traditions, and yet what’s being overlooked is that most of the British aristocracy and the people who will meet future monarchs through events and increasingly expensive education, are all likely to be Roman Catholic or at least a denomination of such things anyway. Once again, great for the newspapers, not really great for anything else.

Just saying, what might be better is just offing the Royals altogether, sticking them in a council flat in Wood Green and plunging their dosh back into the economy to rid us of this ‘oh so important deficit’ and they can choose amongst themselves who gets to be king and queen of their estate while we happily allow all the squatters who are about to be criminalised and kicked out of their homes to go live in Buckingham Palace and Windsor castle. Who’s with me?

Last note. If you’re on Twitter, I think it would be nice to get the hashtag #dressupasaToryMPforHalloween trending. No? Let’s all give it a go.

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