Emergency Drawer

This blog is being typed to the new brilliant Tron Legacy soundtrack. What that means is that whilst you may not have noticed it otherwise, it will have a sense of epic drama and sci-fi futuristicness that lingers in the background regardless of how dull the content may be. I have nothing exciting to blog about today so I suggest you read all of this assuming it took place on ‘The Grid’ and that it goes without saying that all events mentioned involved me wearing a slightly 80’s lego style helmet on my head at all times.

Day 4 of the TiernaNaTom house (I have decided to call it this as of now. I haven’t told the others and I suspect they will never know until it get a small plaque for the front door saying such things) and so far the ship is running smoothly. As smoothly as a ship that’s actually a house can run. I mean, in the water, it wouldn’t run at all. It’d sink, as it its a house. So perhaps I really should have used another expression. Through trial and error we’ve learnt that despite mottled glass you do need to pull the blinds down in the bathroom, as learnt by my friend Mat witness more of Tom than he should on he was into the house (my bad. I said mottled glass was totally fine); that apparently we just have a ‘wasp’ friendly house (long story but ultimately I expect next summer we’ll all be walking round in beekeeper suits); that I am more likely to get killed falling off a cliff on my horse than from zombies and that the Mysterious Cities of Gold can provide untold amounts of enjoyment in the early hours of the morning. This final fact arose last night when we decided to tuck into my box set of said series in the wee hours of the morning. I hadn’t seen it since a kid in the 80’s and its amazing how different it seems in today’s day and age. For a start the over explanatory dialogue is tiresome, the speed at which the characters talk is difficult to hear and there is little more distracting than a monk who has a different colour of skin on his face to the top of his head. Saying that, the theme tune is still enough to keep me happy and two episodes in, we are all excited to see just what happens now that Estaban has left ‘Barcelona, Spain, in the rain’ (that is a quote from the show. I know. I know.)

More importantly than anything else, the T Boudoir is now finished. I’m covered in bruises and muscles I didn’t think I had ached, but I have been all well manly and stuff and built, drilled, screwed and other things that sound like euphemisms but sadly aren’t. Ok, so built doesn’t sound like it means something filthy. Or does it? You! You are terrible. Eugh. Most DIY stuff does sound wrong. Plastering. Cementing. Stacking. Sanding. The last one I suppose works if you really wear someone down. I suppose less of a euphemism for sex and more for consistent persistency for some sort of attention. Essentially sexual harassment. All I’m saying is that it might seem all tough but essentially anyone who does DIY is a dangerous pervert. I put up CD racks, made two sets of drawers and as a final piece de resistance made a large chest of drawers for my clothes. Admittedly at this point I was so tired and had had a few beers that said chest of drawers now has one drawers that seemingly will never open again. I have decided to make the most of this and call it my ‘secret drawer’ or ’emergency drawer’ and have stuffed it full of things I never really need. None of them are particularly secret – unless you count the fact that I own a sports vest as something I probably should never tell people. Oh. Oh dear – or emergency. Its not the point. Add that to the Tron Legacy Soundtrack which will now play endlessly for a few days, and as far as I’m concerned, I live in an exciting world of danger.

Yes the kitchen still looks like something properly horrible has happened in there, and the living room needs sorting out but my room is all nice so I can sit in it and do stuff whilst looking out at people sliding down the icy hill we live on. Its the best prime time viewing I’ve ever had at a work station. So far two men, one lady and a child have all stumbled. Put that to the Tron Legacy soundtrack and its exciting. I nearly opened my ’emergency’ drawer a few times incase any of them were injured and would need a really tatty red tshirt.

Tomorrow I drive to Leeds in the snow. That is proper danger. I may pack the whole emergency drawer in the boot just incase.

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