Points of View

Several things to blog about today, but I must also not blog too much as I have an Edinburgh preview tomorrow and while since the last one, I’ve definitely thought about the show a lot, I haven’t necessarily improved it. Actually the word ‘necessarily’ doesn’t even need to be there. I haven’t improved it. Fact. So I have today and tomorrow to do so. What will actually happen is that I spend today panicking, give up, stare at Twitter and write all the things I need to two hours before the show. This is generally how I’ve done most work through my life. I remember at uni I once actually spent two to three weeks working very hard on an essay and handed it in early, only to get about 60% for it, followed by an essay I did the night before it was due in, with no thought whatsoever and getting 87% for. There’s a clear message there. Its that my lecturers must have thought someone else had written my second essay. Or they were drunk when marking. Or both. Or write their 3’s with too much of a loop on the left hand side. Ok, so no full clear message at all. Anyway, before I get swamped by my own notes, for there are many, here’s today’s ponderments:

– Last night a table of chatty, mouthy young girls told me they thought I looked like James Corden. My initial look of horror was followed by them telling me they really like James Corden so that makes it ok. No, no it doesn’t. Whether or not I like Corden is not the issue here. I’ll admit I’m not his biggest fan. Or his smallest. I’m not a fan at all. But it’s more to do with the fact that actually, were you to place myself and Corden next to each other (a highly unlikely scenario) we wouldn’t look that alike. Sure we both have tums, though I daresay his is bigger, and we’re both Caucasian males, but I think that’s it. He is taller than me and has a very different shaped face with a distinct lack of rubbish beard. I am also more handsome. Arf. So really, what annoyed me the most, is that people put two and two together ‘fat men + comedy = James Corden’, and went for it. This has happened before. I’ve been compared to Ricky Gervais on a few occasions. Once when waitering I was offered a very large tip if I did his dance from the Office. I said no, and proceeded to serve their food slightly later than they wanted. Ha! That’s what you get for comparing me to someone hugely successful. All I ask is that you properly study these people’s facial structure, build and general appearance before you compare me to them. I expect a graph with full analysis of eye placement and cheekbone layout before you call me ‘mini-Corden’. If it turns out in fact that we are very similar looking then I will completely take it all back. And never ever write a sketch show ever, just incase.

Being compared to those people is up there on my ‘most annoying thing people do to me’ list ever, along with the two times different people have said the only comedy they like is ‘Jim Davidson but you were as good as him’. Get fucked. The other bit is when people assume I can be paid in hugs. Or that offering a hug will make all things better. I fully accept that I am an awesome hug machine. Look at me. I am hug personified. That does not, however, mean I’m willing to take a £150 pay cut before you’ll give me a hug. I’m not sure if people think I suffer from certain chromosome issues, but hugs are not the same as cash. Its what eventually killed the Care Bears. Sure, they thought they could heal the world through hugs, but when Tesco’s bought out Carealot, they were ruined.

– Yesterday’s blog offered some rather interesting debate on my FB page, which got me excited. I felt pleased that anything I ever say encouraged debate, rather than the usual ‘meh’ noise or sigh of pity. Shappi Khorsandi in particular made some very good points about how Eddie Izzard has always been an open Labour supporter, something that I had not realised, and also that he will influence a whole new generation who don’t remember Thatcher to not vote Tory. She also pointed out that artists know when they speak out politically that they will earn less money, but its the risk they want to take to speak their views and pointed towards the awesome work of the Dixie Chicks who were very anti-Bush and lost a record deal because of it. Harvey Ovenden said that he couldn’t understand the big deal when all Eddie was doing was announcing his political stance. I haven’t put the comments that went along with my blog, as that would be dull. Why not just go back and read it?

Well, to retort, except its not really a retort, merely a polite reply, I was not discouraging Eddie’s right to free speech. I do think its ace that he believes in Labour so much that wants to stand for them. That’s fine and I would encourage anyone who thinks strongly about their views to express them. Except the BNP who can sod off. There is an exception to every rule and I believe they are it. I didn’t know Eddie had been a loyal Labour supporter since the beginning and I’d be very curious to know if that remained the same during the war in Iraq, or if he chose to disassociate himself from them then? Its a difficult thing aligning yourself with a party because surely then if they go back on what they say they’ll do, then you are seen to agree with their changes unless you publicly speak out against them again? Like I said, I’m fully up for people speaking their political views and I feel what the Dixie Chicks did was very different to what Izzard is doing as they were speaking out against a tyrant, not supporting a party. Its a different field to speak out against what are clearly illegal actions, than to do an advert to promote a party before an election. Yes, the Tories are evil and I’m really pro putting people off voting for them, but again, like it was so well put by Richard Rycroft on my comments, ‘It’s not about agreeing or disagreeing with the viewpoint so much as a slight sense of disappointment that I then looked for subtextual bias in my hero’s ‘proper’ comedy’. That’s what it is. I assumed Eddie was left-wing and I’m not anti-Labour at all (in fact my local MP is Jeremy Corbyn who’s definitely getting my vote because he’s brilliant), I just felt that his endorsement didn’t seem right. In the same way we’ve all booed Gary Barlow for supporting Tories, we can’t just then cheer Eddie because he’s doing the same for a preferred party. On a whole different level, all the parties manifestos should be enough that they stand on their own without having to gain celebrity endorsement, but I guess that is more an issue with the state of culture and the way in which the younger generation are lured in. Wow, I said younger generation. Excuse me while I shudder at my age.

Ultimately, I could probably discuss this all day, whilst I’m fully aware that more intelligent people would do it better. I just know I didn’t like it, some people also didn’t, but some people did. That’s generally how things work. I’m also super pleased it caused discussion and hopefully soon I can appear on Newsnight and say things that sound clever because they include long words.

– I bought some guavas the other day. They smell like guavas, but they don’t look like guavas. Ultimately, I’m not sure they are guavas. Also, I haven’t ever really seen a guava before so I could be wrong. I’ve decided not to look up guavas online as it will ruin the enigma of what they are. My only worry is that they are guava air fresheners and I might be sick.

I’m sure there was more but I have to get back to staring at my notes and wishing, in an almost Sorcerer’s Apprentice fashion, that they will just swirl round and compose themselves into a series of hilarious gags. More likely I’ll be just about to hit on something good when my cats will trample all over them messing them up and I’ll cry a bit and start from square one. Should you wish to see this mess live then here’s the Facebook link for me and Tom Craine’s preview tomorrow:

TOM AND TIERNAN’S REALLY REALLY NOT FINISHED EDINBURGH PREVIEW

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