How good was Mo on Channel 4 last night? If you didn’t watch it, shame on you for missing one of the few good things on telly. Good telly is so rare nowadays that to miss such nuggets should be made some sort of crime. What were you watching instead? Some washed up coke addict twat falling on ice to music? Something else equally as dire that required the brain power of a lobotomised rodent? Or worse than all of those, the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy film that you recorded from the night before? I caught a mere glimpse of that on Saturday night and immediately had that sinking feeling in my gut that you get when someone tramples all over the things you love. It joins the ranks of the Star Wars prequels, Indiana Jones 4 and probably the new A Team film as an active part of the conspiracy to destroy my childhood. I know Douglas Adams actually wrote some if not a very large part of the film script, but I refuse to believe this. Yes, you might say, but its fact, but he’s dead so he can’t prove it. Therefore I shall keep my image of him as a genius rather than someone that might fumble together a poor plot about Trillian and Arthur having a love story which ruins the entire feel and pessimistic attitude of HGTG. I went to see the film at the cinema with my dad. We so rarely go to the cinema together and we were both so excited about it, only to leave so miserable. Damn you Jennings and Kirkpatrick for ruining family situations!
Anyway, Mo, was brilliant. Julie Walters is so endlessly brilliant at playing ladies that are nearly going to die. She did that one who went to a euthanasia clinic in Switzerland (or Swiss Finishing School as I like to call them) a while back and then before that she probably also played women who are nearly dead. Anyway, she’s excellent at all of that. I nearly even man cried a bit, except I didn’t though, because I’m all tough and that. Well I was until half way through I choked on a raisin and my eyes watered a tad. But it was entirely separate. Promise. I think I might’ve been more moved by it all if I hadn’t known the ending already, though had they changed it to a Hollywood style happy song and dance where she lives, I would have felt it somewhat inappropriate. Saying that, I did keep thinking of the Biggie Smalls track ‘Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems’ and may have smirked slightly too often at that, which caused Layla to think my emotions were broken. I’m gigging in Belfast in a few weeks and keep saying to myself I might mention that, but I think I really really won’t. Anyway, it was seriously brilliant, so watch it if you can.
I think Julie Walters would’ve commended me on my acting yesterday. My character also nearly died, but only because of my portrayal which involved me only just remembering my lines a few times. Actually I lie, it all went well I think, and I properly enjoyed doing the acting lark again especially as I got to say rude type words and have ninja stars in my pocket. That’s not a euphemism. All the other plays and performances were very good too and there was some really strong script writing that was showcased. I had a small moment of not feeling like a stand-up, but instead some sort of classy thespian and as such I decided to be the character of TS Douieb Esq and do what a proper thesp would, which meant hanging around after for far too long drinking booze. I felt I did this very well and I’m sure that the right theatre types will notice and demand me a Tony or a Guy or whatever it is that actors get.
Day off today. I’m still in my dressing gown. Its name is a huge lie. I refuse to get dressed while wearing my dressing gown and if anything it prevents from getting dressed as taking it off would mean I was cold and less comfortable. So as a result of not wanting to experience either of those, I will just leave it on, possibly forever. I will think of it as my tribute to Douglas Adams, who definitely did not write the cinematic equivalent of commissioning an artist to paint lots of lovely things and then spraying cow diarrhoea all over it and then stating that’s what the people want.